Astrild's Restaurant
by Skysaber
Summary: What if Ranma made a wish to be married to the right woman and it went horribly right? Back by popular demand, soon to have chapter 4
1. A Wish Gone Right?

Astrild's Restaurant

The Sapphire Bet, Chapter One  
A Wish Gone... Right?

Formerly: A Bet Too Much, Blue Side.

by Jared Ornstead  
aka Skysaber

OoOoO

Since I basically co-authored this idea with Metroanime I'd grown rather fond of it and decided to take it on as one of my permanent projects.

OoOoO

"tINY cHANGE."

Toltiir gave one of those deep, heartfelt sighs that indicated he was well and truly tired of this. Not so much the various bets, but when the nonhumanoids got involved...

Take this one, whose name was Rolling-Golden-Orange-Red. Toltiir had immediately dubbed it Goldie. Goldie was a minor Fate incarnation that dealt with a race of methane breathers. Of course, that meant that it understood humans about as well as Tatewaki Kuno understood cutting-edge microprocessor design.

Tatewaki Kuno came to mind, because it was he who was centered in the scrying pool, focused on the period when the wanna-be samurai was running around with the Wishbringer, the sword with three wishes.

"mAKING cHANGE, hERE." Goldie's voice was a combination of chiming and buzzing. It was giving Toltiir a headache.

OoOoO

Hours later, Ranma held the sword in front of himself and was sitting in the Tendo place.

"...and so Kuno told the sword to grant the pigtailed girl a wish." Ranma stared in frustration at the sword. "I tried wishing for the sword to cure my curse, and it buzzed at me, saying that there was a conflict."

"I see," Kasumi said, setting out a tray. "If you wished yourself free of the curse, you would not be the pigtailed girl, and therefore the sword would not have granted the pigtailed girl a wish."

For an instant everyone stared at Kasumi the same way they would at a squirrel that had paused in gathering nuts just long enough to recite some fiendishly difficult formulas in quantum physics or the entire Iliad in its original Greek.

They shook it off.

"Serves the pervert right," Akane said, sipping her tea. "Honestly, the way you acted around Kuno..."

Kasumi sat down beside her sisters with her sewing basket and began to do needlepoint.

"Hey! It's not my fault!" Ranma was shouting. "You see what it's like with a curse like this, and let's see how well *you* cope! Sheesh, I got girls coming onto me in my boy form, guys doing it in my girl form, and nobody listens to me no matter *which* one I'm in!"

"You know, you're pathetic." Nabiki smirked, enjoying herself and eying the sword. Now how could she manipulate him into giving it to her? "Maybe you're just too irresistible for your own good, Saotome. Doesn't everybody just LOVE Ranma?"

"Yeah, I w... Aw, man! I can't believe I almost said it." Ranma grabbed his head in his hands and shook it.

"Hmph," continued Akane. "You're always getting yourself into these problems, Ranma, and it's always your fault. Pervert."

Ranma turned his eyes heavenward. "Why did I have to get engaged to such an uncute tomboy?"

"Because, Saotome," Nabiki started ticking points off on her fingers. "You're not particularly intelligent and you're *definitely* not rich. You suffer from chronic foot-in-mouth disease. You're also a coward in everything but a fight; which makes you completely unsuitable for me. You're not old enough or mature enough for Kasumi. Your curse turns you into a girl, which both I and Kasumi find revolting. Need I go on?"

"Airen!"

"Ranchan!"

Ranma's head slumped. "Oh no."

"Ranma! How DARE you! How could you invite them over!" Akane, never far from boiling, began to steam.

"Actually, sis, I gave them the option of buying an info service where I call them whenever Ranma's about to go off on an adventure or do something that might impact their relationship with him." Nabiki smirked. "This qualified."

"Hey, Ranchan, if you're gonna wish, why don't you wish to marry the fiancee that really loves you?" Ukyo smirked, knowing that neither Akane nor Shampoo could compete as well as she in that department.

Ranma looked up. That actually didn't sound too bad. He tried unsuccessfully to think of what could be wrong with that.

Nabiki huffed arrogantly with a smoothly superior smirk. "Oh, get it *over* with Saotome. There's no one thing that can solve all the problems *you've* managed to accumulate. You KNOW that whatever you wish for will just make your problems worse anyway. Why not just give it up?"

Nabiki's obvious delight at baiting the ego-stuffed martial artist also concealed her hope that maybe he'd give it up in truth. After all, there were *much* better uses for a wish than *he* could obviously think of. She could think of several just offhand. Not to mention that she found him entirely too profitable as he was and a cure for any of his major problems could potentially derail that.

Ranma looked downcast at the table. "Well, Kasumi?"

"Ranma?" She didn't look up from her embroidery.

He sighed. "Everyone *else* seems to have something to add. I just thought I'd give you an opportunity to throw in your bit as well, is all." Ranma's voice was bitter. Here he had something that could end his curse, and nobody would give him any help in figuring out how to use it!

"Why would I do that, Ranma?" Kasumi asked as if she didn't understand, letting her needlework drop.

"BAKA, will you quit bothering my sister and GET IT OVER WITH!" Akane yelled, part of her hoping he'd do something stupid so she could pound him again and feel better.

He passed a hurt glare over his tormentors. Then Ukyo gave him a comforting smile, and Shampoo sent a gaze that was trusting. You know, there were parts of this that weren't so bad. If only...

Lifting the sword as he'd seen Kuno do, Ranma took a deep breath. Fighting REALLY hard to phrase this right, he ended up just being... honest, in the most plain and simple way.

"Sword, it's okay I guess that you can't do nuthin directly about the curse, but I'm *really* tired of all these cures that don't work er nuthin, and so I'd like to know how to get rid of it for good."

Deep Breath. Remember what Ucchan said.

"So I wish that I knew how to do that, an' that all the honor entanglements were satisfied, and that I'd be married to someone who'd genuinely love me without scarin' me all the time." He spoke from the heart, hoping that last bit would protect him from Kodachi, and for once not tripping over his own tongue. Then he caught a predatory frown out of the corner of his eye.

"...Oh, and that Nabiki were alot nicer to me."

"Urk!" was all Nabiki managed to say as she suddenly gained a compulsive niceness to Ranma curse.

-GRANTED- The sword called out, clattering to the ground where Ranma had once been. There was a moment of unbroken silence as everyone stared at the place where he had vanished.

Nabiki was slightly hunched over as she placed both hands on her stomach. "Why, that... nice young man. I'm sure he didn't mean to upset me like that."

Akane stared at her older sister in horror.

"What wish do?" Shampoo asked, fearful for her husband.

"I've been unfair. I think I'll go adjust my accounting and refund his outstanding debt. He never deserved my doing that to him anyway. It was unnecessary and cruel of me."

"Besides the obvious." Ukyo deadpanned.

After a breathless moment without any answers, Ranma reappeared in a silent bamf of sparkling green motes and a slight push of displaced air. His clothing had been radically altered. Whereas before he'd typically worn a red shirt over black pants, now he had on green tights leading down into thigh-high, soft, white leather boots that were folded down at the tops. On his torso he wore a green tunic over a white shirt with long, wide, mutton-leg sleeves. The ensemble was topped by a jaunty feathered cap set at an angle. A cloak hung off one shoulder and might have been green. But it was hard to tell exactly as the eye tended to slide off the fabric and it liked to delete itself from peripheral vision, so trying to focus in and be sure could be maddeningly difficult. His attire looked like a movie swashbuckler's costume and came complete with belt (in which were tucked gloves) and from which hung a pouch and sword. A quiver and longbow were slung over his back.

He was also floating a good two feet above the floor.

This did not count as usual even in Nerima. Jumping, sure. Staying there? Not.

Ranma was caught in a pose like he'd just been flying cross-country. Floating in the air before him was a massive, open book that he'd been reading. His left hand was curved in a mystic gesture, and in his right he held a staff level with the ground, as if directing his course. He pulled up and floated in the center of the room for a moment, bobbing silently above them, staring around as if having difficulty recognizing whom he was seeing. Then recollection came and he allowed himself to float to the floor. The book closed and floated obediently down to hover at his side.

The collected girls spent several moments appraising him while Ranma spent the same time seeming to readjust himself to his surroundings.

The staff he carried was capped with an elaborate headpiece, shaped like a pair of angelic wings encircling a sculpted flower whose petals served to mount an impressively large sapphire. Clinging to one of Ranma's shoulders was a small winged lizard whose coloration matched the jewel, and crouched at his feet was a large bag that hadn't been there a moment before.

Then that they noticed that, except for the jewel, the entire staff was shaped out of seamless white pearl.

Recognizing the people around him, Ranma relaxed his pose and lowered his staff. Then he opened his mouth and closed it again, spending what looked like a puzzled few seconds trying to remember the language.

One of them spoke and inadvertently reminded him of what Japanese sounded like.

"Did you...are you cured of the curse?" Akane sputtered. Ranma looked...older, more mature, much healthier. Also several inches taller and very tired.

Ranma stretched his shoulders and blinked for a moment, as if remembering something. He made a gesture and his weapons faded away, the book found itself a convenient shelf and the satchel waddled off into a corner.

"No." Ranma admitted, and he tossed out a self-controlled grin. "But I sure know *how!*" He sat back as a plush easy chair solidified out of mid-air right underneath him.

He was quickly surrounded by most of the girls.

That easy chairs simply don't ordinarily do that was noticed but not remarked on by most of those present. There was too much else that was impossible for them to be dealing with at that moment, so they focused instead on having Ranma.

-REMAINDER OF WISH. GRANTED. TRANSACTION COMPLETED.- The wishing sword vanished.

"Hah! Now I don't have to...worry...about... a dozen...fiancees?" Ranma stared at the gold band that had suddenly appeared on his finger, then at the matching band on Kasumi's. Then at Shampoo's ring, and then Nabiki's, and the one that Ukyo was wearing...

Ranma fainted, falling back into the easy chair without another sound. Nabiki, still sitting at the table, managed to estimate the street value of the gold before she slumped across the wood. Kasumi, who had been standing, saw a ring appear on THAT finger and managed to fall draped over Ranma's lap.

"Baka," echoed a choked whisper.

Shampoo was feeling more than a little unsteady, while Ukyo was leaning up against a wall. Both looked towards the only other member of this impromptu slumber party who was still standing.

"...that," Akane managed, staring at her empty hand, conspicuously void of any ornamentation, circular, metallic, or otherwise. "That...idiot...how DARE he make a wish like that!"

Akane gave a scream of rage rising into the higher registers at the injustice of it all.

Startled by this, the tiny drake flapped its leather wings and flew out the open doors of the veranda, disappearing into the strange world it had just been brought to. Tracking its flight out, Ukyo caught sight of something on the wall.

"Um, Shampoo..." Ukyo felt blood drain away from her face.

"What you want, Spatula Girl?" Shampoo had been too dizzy to watch the little lizard. Neither one were in any shape to notice the home had gone to wrack and ruin around them, in too much shock to consciously appraise the yellowed newspapers or the panda furballs and ramen containers accumulated in the corners.

Ukyo swallowed. "Take a look at this photo over on this wall. I think maybe...we need to consider being on a first name basis at this point."

"What you mean...you..." Shampoo looked at the photo and felt the blood draining away from HER face. "Aiyaaa..."

Ukyo gulped. "I'd remember if I'd had a picture like that taken. It doesn't *look* fake."

"Shampoo look so beautiful in wedding dress. Groom look so handsome...Why Spatula Girl and Too Too Nice Girl and Sneaky Girl and Who That? Everybody but groom wearing wedding dress?"

"It's not like he's not qualified! Let me see that!" Akane stomped over, taking a quick look at the photo crowded with familiar and unfamiliar faces her mind skipped a beat. "That's... that's Kaori Daikokuji! I have no idea who the girl with the facial tattoos is."

Akane looked over at the unconscious Ranma, her face flat with anger. "You... idiot..." How DARE he get married to anyone but her!

"Guys," Ukyo straightened up and looked at Ranma as a thought struck. "We gotta do something before certain people see this."

"What you mean?" Asked the woozy amazon, clutching the wall for support.

Akane caught the idea and grimaced. "She means that leaving a spellbook, wizard's staff, and who knows what in the bag for Happosai and our fathers to find would not be a very good idea."

"Happosai with book of magic?" Shampoo shuddered. "Aiyaaa! VERY bad."

The youngest Tendo heard this and it clicked in her mind. Her eyes caught the book and an idea began to form. Akane hid the spellbook while Shampoo and Ukyo tossed satchel and staff onto Ranma's lap, then carried the whole easy chair, Ranma and Kasumi included, up to the room right at the top of the stairs, which happened to be Kasumi's anyway.

Collapsing onto the bed, and raising a small cloud of dust, Ukyo noted. "Kasumi doesn't have much in the way of decoration in here, does she?"

Collapsing beside her and doubling the cloud, the woozy amazon looked at the bare walls, empty closet, and dusty furniture. "Maybe she too tired, always cleaning up after violent girl."

Shock finally hit them both and they gave in to recuperative slumber.

OoOoO

Downstairs, Akane spent fifteen minutes going through the spellbook before she found a page she felt she could understand. "Why, it's just like a cookbook!" Akane exclaimed, suddenly confident about this magic stuff. There, right before her, was a recipe with ingredients listed in minute detail!

Akane closed the book, glowing with confidence. She could do this no problem! Soon she'd get this whole misunderstanding cleared up. Ranma was always meant to be hers, the sword just hadn't understood that.

The satchel, however, which she presumed held all of Ranma's special herbs and things, refused to let her anywhere near it, and his staff actually gave her a mild burn when she tried to pick it up. So Akane went back down in search of a formula that called for ingredients she could find in the spice cupboard.

OoOoO

"What smell?" An amazon's abused senses finally penetrated her fog of sleep.

"Hmm? Oh, that's just Akane cooking." Nabiki murmured from where she'd crawled up to avoid the stench.

"AKANE COOKING!" Ranma was not the only one startled awake by that.

"My room?" Kasumi was looking around at the ghost of her chamber. Where were all her things?

"Hey, gang, I think we can all escape out the window." Ukyo stood ready to open the aforementioned.

"We go Cat Cafe. Great Grandmother know what going on here."

"My room." Kasumi repeated.

"What is it, Kasumi?" Nabiki got up, then her eyes bugged as she looked around. "Wow. Looks like you moved out. I wonder where you went?"

Kasumi had already risen, so Ranma stood up, the chair disappearing behind him. Folding his fingers together, an arcane symbol appeared in the air before him and began glowing. The symbol faded and Ranma dropped his hands.

"According to my lore spell none of us have lived here for months. The only occupants the house registers as current are Soun, Happosai, my father, and Akane."

"You must have moved out when we all got... ma... ma..." Ukyo stammered to a stop, blushing.

"We go Cat Cafe. Great Grandmother understand. She tell us."

"You're right." Ranma opened the window and jumped out onto the ledge. "Come on, everybody. I can handle a flight spell large enough to get us all there."

"Uh, husband dear."

Everybody LOOKED at Nabiki, too stunned for words.

She blushed, but was unable to alter her words. "Husband, flying might draw attention we don't want. We all remember how to walk."

Ranma glanced down and somehow looked ashamed. "You're right, Nabiki." He toyed with something in his hand. "This wasn't the way that I wanted it, but you're right." He opened his other hand and the staff flew to him. Suddenly the staff shrunk to about a foot long and went limp. He coiled it around his wrist, where it solidified again, looking like nothing but a pearl bracelet set with a small sapphire in one end.

Ukyo jumped down to the ground, noting with distaste all the garbage strewn throughout the yard and the recent firepit in the lawn. Shampoo followed after, carrying Nabiki, and Ranma hopped down a moment after, satchel in one arm and Kasumi in the other. They hopped over the outside wall in the same formation. Before anybody realized it, Ranma had summoned a gorgeously caparisoned horse and was lifting Kasumi into the high canted side-saddle.

"Hey Ranchan? Where'd that horse come from?"

Ranma looked around at his friend and bowed his head, sighing. "I've been planning my return for a long time, Ucchan. I've been setting up enchantments and all sorts of presents for the girl I eventually married. But I only ever thought that there'd be one! I'm sorry, but I seem to be three horses short. One of you can use mine." He held up a richly detailed tiny figurine shaped in the image of an inch-high black charger, complete with saddle and gear.

"Shampoo LOVE to ride horse!" The purple-tressed warrior maiden called out eagerly, bouncing and clapping her hands together in delight.

Checking that this didn't disappoint the other two, Ranma tossed the statuette to the amazon, telling her the command phrase and introducing her to the horse when it appeared.

Seconds later, Shampoo was charging about the street in cavalric glee. Ranma led Kasumi's horse while Nabiki and Ukyo paced beside him, everyone suddenly quiet save for the shouts of enthusiasm as Shampoo jumped small cars.

"Ranma darling, won't your horse get tired?" Nabiki eventually asked.

Ranma shook his head, still quiet in contemplation. Speaking softly he replied. "No, these are Fallon-type warhorses, first bred by Kisaby the Horseman. They can gallop day and night for weeks without tiring. They're the only mount alive than can run down an elven steed, and they're pretty intelligent to boot."

Kasumi's mount snorted and tossed its cream colored head in equine approval.

Ranma continued in a contemplative mode. "I had to raid the private stables of a sultan to get these two."

"They're very pretty." Ukyo offered by way of consolation for whatever hurt he seemed to be feeling.

Ranma looked at her and found a smile. "I spared no danger, no expense. I wanted everything to be wonderful. The cloth they wear has one of the most powerful spells I've ever woven into something. It sustains them without food or water, kills parasites, and keeps both horses perfectly groomed." He sighed sadly, looking down at his feet. "I wanted everything to be perfect."

Nabiki came up behind him and put both arms around his waist. "I don't know what you've done to me, Ranma. But my heart breaks when yours does. Please feel better."

Looking around himself, he brightened a bit and nodded.

OoOoO

Cologne looked up from her counter at the incoming youngsters. "Ah, so the happy family returns! Why, Shampoo, wherever did you get that fine animal?"

The giddy, purple-haired amazon hadn't been willing to be pried out of the saddle and had ridden the magnificent warhorse right into the cafe. "Is warhorse belonging to Airen, great grandmother! He say I could ride." She sparkled and considered leaping the charger over the counter to see what had changed in the kitchen.

Cologne seemed to sense this and moved aside, just in case. She smiled to her granddaughter. "Well, that was nice of him. You got so few chances back in China, and always did love it so. Did you do much horseback riding on your trip?"

While this interplay was going on Ukyo had found and pointed out to Ranma the poster-sized photo framed and hung prominently on the wall. The picture was one of Ranma hefting a laughing Shampoo in his arms, the other brides in the background laughing at something obscured by the closeup of Ranma's smiling head. It was a merry scene.

Ranma sat back into his easy chair, fighting vertigo. Ukyo and Nabiki sat on his chair arms.

Cologne blinked. "Uh, son-in-law? Would you mind telling an old woman where that chair came from? Not to mention the steed Shampoo's riding and the fact that you're wearing something rather different than your usual clothing style?"

With a start, looking up at Shampoo's radiant smile and the ring on her finger, Ranma realized that he *was* really the old ghoul... err, Cologne's great grandson-in-law. He swallowed and shrugged, having forgotten somehow to prepare an excuse for this beforehand.

"Uh, I took up magic in my spare time?"

Cologne hopped over and perched on the front of Shampoo's saddle. "What spare time, son-in-law? You just got home off your honeymoon three days ago. Don't tell me you were READING all those months."

Kasumi, looking very pale, sat demurely in one of the normal chairs. Luckily it was right before opening and there were no customers. She spoke in a bright, clear voice robbed of its usual softness by her strain.

"Ranma made a wish this morning. A wish in which he ended up married to all of us."

Cologne blinked. "But that's ridiculous, son-in-law. You married them all months ago! Don't tell me you'd waste something as precious as a wish on something you already had!"

"This morning I did not have it." Ranma replied reasonably, rubbing his temples, but seeming to adapt somewhat to the circumstances.

Cologne blinked her eyes wide. "What? Then all that was..." She pointed a sharp finger at her suddenly startled granddaughter. "Shampoo, what happened on February the thirteenth of this year?"

Shampoo recoiled in startlement. "Aiyaa, that no very important day. Shampoo go to Tendo place, bring Airen food. Spoil violent girl disgusting breakfast while at it. Airen get angry and chase Shampoo away. Hurt very, very bad, but is no unusual."

"I see." Cologne spun her staff and suddenly was holding a razor sharp sword to Ranma's throat. "Son-in-law, as far as everyone I know is concerned, Shampoo is your bride. But if you should get it into your mind to abandon her, or to hurt her as you once did..."

With two fingers, Ranma removed the blade from his neck, a slight trickle of blood falling from a nick in his throat. "I would have to be a creature with the morals of my pop to even consider that. I might not have *expected* all this to happen, but I'm sure not going to hurt *any* of them!"

Cologne studied him through sharp eyes, then put away her sword. "In that case, I'll bring you up to date. I don't know much about the specifics. I wasn't there you understand, but three months ago, give or take a few days, Akane finally managed to kill Ranma."

Hair stood up from every head in the room but hers. Even the horse's mane was sticking upright.

"Both fathers told me later that it was an accident, but that's hogwash. She might not truly have meant it, but you can't try that hard that consistently at something and not expect to eventually succeed. Anyway, you all got him to the hospital where he was pronounced dead on arrival. You were already discussing funeral plans when another fiancee arrived. I don't know how or what she did, but she brought Ranma back to life. At any rate, she decided that she wasn't particularly jealous and so those fiancees she approved of were also allowed to marry Ranma. I spent the week after your wedding celebrating and you only returned from your honeymoon three days ago. That's as much as I know about it. I was planning on seeking you out in a few days to ask that first wife of yours how she did it."

Kasumi rallied somewhat. "But if that's... Where do we live?"

Cologne took out a piece of paper and scratched an address on it.

As Shampoo took the note, Ukyo asked. "So how did Ranma get to marry more than one of us, anyhow? I thought that was illegal?"

"What are you *talking* about, child? Ranma always could've married as many of you as he wanted. You were all just fighting over who got him first. Once that went to the maiden who restored his life there wasn't anything left for you to fight over!"

Nabiki's brow furrowed. "You mean multiple marriages are legal now?"

It was Cologne's turn to frown. "Now that you mention it, they're not. At least not in Japan, or in any of those other countries you visited. Come to think of it, I'm not sure *why* it's always been okay for son-in-law. But it certainly has been. Merely the fact that no one has objected to it should be proof enough of that. In fact I even think you got a well-wishing card from the Diet on your wedding day."

Kasumi perked up. They'd gotten cards at their wedding? And it sounded like from important people too. She hoped she'd been prompt about sending thank you notes.

Suddenly Ucchan was looking around. "Where'd the other horse go?"

Grinning sheepishly, Ranma took a cream colored figurine out of his pouch. "Here. We can activate it when we need it."

Cologne was studying him and it. "What is this, son-in-law? Do you manufacture horses in shrink wrap now? What is that thing?"

Feeling himself back on a familiar topic, or at least one more recently familiar, Ranma regained some confidence. "Well, it's an offshoot of the standard dimensional warp. You know how magicians have been making magic bags for centuries that could hold more than their physical dimensions allow? And dryads and other wood sprites create huge mansions inside their trees that far exceed their volume. It's all just a slight bending of space they've managed to stabilize."

He showed off the figurine. "These were common after the days of Kisaby the Horseman, a mage friend of his did alot of dimensional hopping, and discovered a kind of companion reality to normal space. As you all know, universes have varying levels of detail. Some have physical laws only allowing for chaos, others support a rich enough metaphysical structure for magic and human life. Well, this mage tapped into one that was extremely limited and nearly barren, allowing only for the existence of grass, water, and horses. Naturally they love the place. Some unromantic soul dubbed it the 'horse dimension' and so it's been called ever since."

He flipped the little horse statuette in his fingers. "These act as a link. Using one, you can call a specific horse out of there, the tradeoff is that the steed decides when he gets to go back, and since they like it so much it's basically the veto power of your own will that binds them to the place you're in. Once your attention wanders they're gone, off to grass and not having to carry you around. Their bridle and saddle and things get stored by the figurine until they return."

Kasumi felt some concern at the odd arrangement and asked. "But if they like it so much wouldn't it be nicest just to let them stay there all the time?"

Ranma shook his head, though not displeased. "It's not good for them. They can heal wounds over there and stuff, but they don't grow any older, which means no foals. And it's not exactly a stable reality. Parts of it keep slipping off into chaos. The only things keeping them safe over there are these links. It's like having a rope tied around your middle in a bog, if you encounter a sinkhole the rope provides an anchor. But we have to use the link to keep it strong, like too much slack on the rope will let you drown anyway. To give you an idea of how dangerous it is without one of these, there *aren't* any unlinked horses over there."

"So why does anybody use it, Ranchan?" Ukyo blinked.

He smiled at her. "Two reasons. One is that it's a least magic for the most effect sort of arrangement. I can traverse mountain, cave, and waterfall and on the other side still have my horse. The other ways either cost alot of power in non-renewing spells, or give you something that ain't a real animal, and there are limits you wouldn't think of to riding magic constructs. The other reason is that they *like* it. I kinda consider it a way of paying them for a lifetime of loyal service."

The black charger snorted and nuzzled his arm, seeming to agree.

Cologne had produced a quill and paper and had been writing furiously all this time. When it became clear that his explanation was over she stowed the items away in her robe and complimented him. "VERY interesting, son-in-law. And you explained that so well. I'd always had difficulty with dimensional theory before, but you made that quite plain. Tell me, have you had many students tell you you had a knack for teaching magic?"

Ranma blushed, but seemed quite pleased. "I haven't had any students, great grandmother. I've been too busy preparing for my return here."

"Ahh, I see. Well, soon all that will change. Come on over anytime you want to discuss something. I found our chat quite interesting. But for now you have other things you must be doing."

"Yah, where to, Ranchan?" Ukyo hopped pertly off of his chair arm.

Ranma suddenly noted with some astonishment that his right arm felt cold, and the reason why was that it'd been wrapped around Ukyo's waist and that source of warmth had left. She seemed to notice this at the same time and blushed furiously, not sure whether to be more pleased or embarrassed.

His eyes went wide and tracked over to see Nabiki, with his left arm around her middle. She smiled at him, then impulsively bent over and kissed him. He might have leapt out of his seat in shock, save that would've spilled Nabiki rather rudely onto the ground when the chair disappeared behind him.

"Ah, the young lovers." Cologne teased. "Now you'd better be going. I've got a restaurant to run and I can't stay closed to chat forever."

"I would like to speak with Akane about all of this." Kasumi essayed.

"We do later, Kasumi." Shampoo declared. "Now we go see where live with airen!" Turning the horse, she charged out of the restaurant. Ranma followed, summoning the other mount again for Kasumi.

The troupe followed and, clucking softly to herself, Cologne began to open for business.

OoOoO

As the third stirring rod dissolved in her hand, this time before even *reaching* the liquid, Akane began to wonder if substituting rice for mandrake root had been the great idea it had seemed at the time. Surely the cinnamon and cloves seemed to work well enough in place of the holly berries.

The overturned box of drain cleaner at her elbow didn't *say* cloves, but it had been in the cupboard at the time.

The only real main ingredient she'd *had*, the breath of a virgin, had caused her to blush to her toes. But she'd exhaled onto the potion.

Leaving the pot on to boil, Akane ran up the stairs to her room. She closed the door behind her and removed the spellbook from hiding. Groaning, she realized that she'd forgotten to turn the pot or say *any* of the magic words before she'd turned up the heat to let it boil. These recipes were so *complicated!* And while she was sure she could get along without half of that silly stuff, following the recipe without the book there was still a little difficult. She'd tried to take it into the kitchen so she could study it while she cooked, but the book wouldn't allow her take it in the door.

Suddenly she had a great idea, and Akane began to look around for her backpack.

OoOoO

Nabiki wished she knew why she'd had such a tough time removing herself from Ranma's arm. Okay, she'd overheard the wish, she wasn't stupid. But there was niceness and there was... he looked over at her again and her insides went to goo. Wistfully, she wrapped herself around his left arm as they walked.

"Husband dear?"

"Yeah, Nabiki?"

"Hold me!"

*Glomp!*

"Err?" Ranma stood blinking unintelligently.

Ukyo saw this and her eyes lit up with mischief. "Hmm, looks like a good idea."

*Glomp!*

"Where is hotel room?" Shampoo stood up in her saddle to get a better view of the area.

"Excuse me?" Kasumi spoke up from the back of her horse. "But I'm a little eager to get home. Could you please hold off on that until..."

"Is good idea!" Shampoo interrupted, unintentionally cutting off the remainder of Kasumi's phrase. "...until things return to normal." The amazon stood her charger on his hind legs and then raced off, returning in moments.

"Shampoo find! Is great big restaurant! Husband is too too good provider!"

Ranma suddenly noticed a loss. "Hey!" He checked his wrist, side pouch, and inside of his cloak. Still finding nothing he turned around to ask of the girls. "When was the last any of you saw my spellbook?"

OoOoO

Happy with her ingenuity, Akane stuffed the huge spellbook back into her pack, following it with ream after ream of photocopies. She wished she hadn't run out of coins before getting the whole thing, but she was confident she'd gotten all of the important parts.

Sealing the backpack and lifting the weighty load, she began to hurry home. She had to check on her current experiment!

Behind her, Hikaru Gosunkugi leaned from around a shop display. He'd thought that it looked unusual for Akane to be so interested in an old book. The binding of the leather had looked more like something *he'd* be interested in.

Checking a paper from the machine, Gosunkugi's eye's bulged wide and his mouth fell open. It was minutes before he could turn his head to see where Akane had gone. But she'd long since disappeared. Quickly, he gathered up all the papers she'd spilled and the slight handful she'd left in the copier.

He'd have to try this out!

OoOoO

Returning to the Tendo house in a rush (Kasumi and Nabiki riding, the others leaping across houses) they came to the right place, but even Kasumi almost rode on past it. They stood for a few minutes taking in the changes to the Tendo home they'd somehow missed on their way out.

There were patches all over the roof. A huge section over the living room wasn't even shingled anymore. One of the swinging gates had been knocked from its hinges and rehung with wire. There was garbage in the rain gutters and waste paper had blown up into the branches of the trees.

All this was even before they'd opened the gate.

Hesitantly, Ranma opened the doors and they filed into the yard.

"My home?" Kasumi mourned.

Piles of broken bricks and masonry lay about the yard. Garbage flooded the bin, overflowing onto the ground. The clothesline had fallen and never been rehung...

It was too much. The eye couldn't take it all in. The devastation and neglect was just too severe.

Shampoo hopped over to the burst-out wall of the Tendo bathroom, picking up one of the broken boards. She examined it in her hand, then dropped it and returned to her fellows. "Board have Happosai face imprint. Guess Too Too Violent Girl defend self while in bathroom. Hole is weeks old."

Nabiki toed a discarded practice dummy at her feet. "From the look of the bricks, I'd say Akane got tired of using the dojo and moved it out into the yard."

Ukyo unholstered her giant spatula and held it ready. There was just something about the obscene wreckage that evoked thoughts of danger.

"Oh, hi guys!" Akane called from the front doorway, a little upset to see her two rivals but glad to have Ranma returned. "Sorry about the mess. Looks like we haven't been able to afford any repair people. Come on in. I was going to clean up later."

"From look of things, she say she 'clean up later' for months now." Shampoo whispered aside to Kasumi.

Kasumi's face had drained of all color. Her home had been her world. She tried to consider salvaging it, but at that moment Akane began cursing the veranda screen, sticking on clogged tracks, and managed to pull the door to pieces in her hand. She blinked at it in surprise, then tossed it aside and led them all in.

Kasumi paused at the ruined door, gazing down for a moment in sorrow at the debris, then looked around and bit back a tear. This wasn't her home anymore. This was where Akane lived.

With a sudden, painful realization, Kasumi discovered that wherever Akane lived, she no longer cared to.

Ukyo dropped back and asked Kasumi what was the matter, then stood with the elder girl while she cried. Further into the house Akane was handing Ranma back his spellbook.

OoOoO

Author's Notes:

Cleaned up for reposting, for ease of reading (since this site has some fairly unique rules that stripped out all of the original formatting and made it a bear to actually sit through).

Hope all of you enjoy!


	2. Coming Home?

Astrild's Restaurant

The Sapphire Bet, Chapter Two  
Coming... Home?

Formerly: A Bet Too Much, Blue Side.

by Jared Ornstead  
aka Skysaber

OoOoO

If I ever get around to continuing A Bet Too Much, Green Side, I'll call it The Emerald Bet. In part to clear up the confusion of what was an awkward title anyway, mostly to keep it matching. Celeste had, when she was alive, a takeoff of A Bet Too Much she called Purple Side, or Amethyst for short. Should this be Sapphire and Green Side be Emerald then they all stay linked, both to their past names and to each other.

OoOoO

Half an hour later, in Akane's room (once they'd gotten Kasumi past the mounds of cup ramen containers and instant food packages piled with all the other garbage in the corners), the very uncomfortable group was going over something that alternately shocked, horrified, and amused them. A photo album they'd found featuring pictures of themselves, pictures they certainly didn't remember being taken.

"Is that Hawaii?" Ukyo squinted at the picture as if that could really make the background details clearer.

"Could be Okinawa, I s'pose." Ranma was still a little dazed from both the news, and from the way Kasumi was now sitting across his lap. She acted as if she was taking refuge there against the house they were in.

She felt, rather... um... nice?.. there? It was hard for him not to react.

"You won't even go with me to the mall, but you'd take her to Okinawa? Hmph!"

"Akane! I don't remember any of this." Ranma sighed. Absently, he summoned a glass of chilled juice out of thin air and took a sip. A brief pulse of green sparkles the only sign that he'd just created the tall glass of amber fluid.

"None of us do." A now stable Kasumi stared at one picture of herself laughing and pointing at where Nabiki's grass skirt had started coming apart. "It _is_ Hawaii, I think." She couldn't ever remember laughing like that...

"Why?"

"This is a picture taken at a luau." Kasumi handed the picture to Nabiki, who quite promptly hid it.

Ukyo had trouble believing this dream had not ended already. She really might have gotten Ranchan? Something inside her wanted to do cartwheels. "So... we are all ma... married? Every one of us except Akane."

"She didn't go on the honeymoon. She's not in any of the photos." Nabiki added.

"I got it! Enough already!" That would change soon, Akane vowed. Soon *she'd* be the one with Ranma, just like it was supposed to be.

"Is restaurant at address Great Grandmother give us." Shampoo passed a photo to Ranma.

Ukyo sniffed at the exotic fruity smell and gave Ranma's drink an imploring look. She met his eyes briefly, smacking dry lips. With a wink he called forth a tray of them and a frosted, dewing pitcher of the liquid, floating unsupported over the bed. Then he took the picture.

"How do you do that?" Akane looked at the glass Kasumi handed her as if afraid it was going to suddenly turn into something nasty. She moved to the edge of her bed, flipping through her diary while her sisters hogged the photo album.

"Magic." Ranma shrugged. "Fruit punch is of the element Water, and the curse gives me a natural affinity. That spell has some elaborate setup, for one thing I don't think I could find a chip of unicorn horn again, but once the foundation spell has been weaved you can invoke the effect with a trivial effort. Unlike, say, a fireball, where you have none of the startup costs, only you are paying a substantial price in energy each time you throw one."

Vast incomprehension.

He chuckled. "Don't worry. It gets to be second nature after awhile." Ranma studied the photo briefly, then handed it to Nabiki. "I think Shampoo has found something."

"So _that_ is where we live?" Nabiki accepted the photo and swiftly reappraised Ranma as the group crowded in around her to look at it. A huge restaurant was visible, with what looked like living quarters up above. It was in a new business district they'd all come close to before returning for Ranma's book. It was built at the foot of a hill on which stood one of those old temples that had somehow avoided being razed for its land value. In front of the restaurant was Ranma and the various brides. Akane and Kuno were together, as were Kodachi and Mousse. Ranma's mother and father were both standing well apart. There was no sign of Soun Tendo, and there were a lot of people nobody recognized. Shampoo identified four women in the background as amazons. But there was also a hefty contingent of muscular blond guys and more than a few top heavy gaijin women.

"Take a look at the hammer that guy is carrying." Ukyo pointed out a redhaired weightlifter wreathed in muscles.

"AAAAAH!" Akane startled the group with a scream as she found something she didn't like in her diary. The look she gave the group was a mix of betrayal, horror, and nausea. "I'm engaged to... KUNO!"

"Bummer." Nabiki quipped.

"Aw, shucks." Ukyo said with a complete lack of sincerity.

"Shampoo always hate it when stupid, obsessive boy get girl."

"Maybe we could look at this instead as the virtuous hero reunited with his lost love after vanquishing the evil sorcerer?" Nabiki joked.

The girls enjoyed a good laugh.

"Well," Ranma said, straightening up and holding Kasumi so she didn't fall. "I guess the next thing to do is find our way to this restaurant. This is about all we'll learn from Akane's photo album."

"Any other clues in that diary, Akane?" Ukyo turned to the girl, who was still so much in shock over the cumulative events of the past hour that she hadn't protested their laughter at her expense. She didn't get an answer, Akane being lost in some private horror, her eyes fixed on something that only she could see.

"Akane?" Nabiki waved a hand in front of her younger sister's face.

"Doomed." Akane whispered the word. It was all Ranma's fault. He'd made the wish. He COULD have wished to be happily married to *her*, but nooo...

Of course, that wish might've lobotomized him so he'd be happy with his toenails being yanked out in slow motion, but still...

Ukyo leaned over her shoulder and took a moment to read the diary still in Akane's hands. "How about that? Looks like Mr. Tendo went a little nuts when Akane didn't manage to marry Ranma with the rest of us. Says here he ran around stirring up old engagements and making a few new ones. All because Ranma said he didn't want the dojo."

"He didn't *want* the dojo?" Kasumi and Nabiki stressed, both disbelieving.

Ukyo shrugged. She could remember Ranma telling her about turning down Kodachi when she offered to buy him one. Anything Goes wasn't dependent on dojos.

"Airen no want dojo because restaurant so much much better. Shampoo see, is very pretty place."

Ukyo's lips quirked into a smile at the rest of them. "Yeah, only it seems Ranma not wanting it drove Mr. Tendo over the edge. Looks like before he managed to calm down, Akane was bound by her personal and family honor into engagements with almost a dozen people. There's a list here of names, plus a few that were crossed out." Ukyo's smile crinkled as she bent over to read. "Kuno's the first name listed. There's also Mousse, Ryoga, Mikado and a *bunch* of other guys. I'd say Mr. Tendo went a little over the edge."

"That... BAKA... is _so_ doomed." Akane's voice was a little stronger this time.

"I think maybe," Nabiki appraised nervously, "that we want to be gone when Akane hits critical here. This has all the signs of a massive blowup."

"Really, REALLY, doomed."

"I think you're right, Nabiki." Ranma dismissed the glasses of juice back into little energy sparkles and stepping toward the door. "Let's go home."

Ukyo glanced at Ranma as they proceeded down the stairs. "You have some idea what we're going to find when we get there, Ranchan?"

"Yeah," said Ranma. "Hmmm. Looks like Mr. Tendo shares some traits with my pop after all, I'd thought only he could be dumb enough to do the multiple engagement thing. Who'd have thought? Though if Mikado is engaged, I wonder what happened to his skating partner?"

"Who Mikado?" Shampoo brightly asked, assuming a perky stance that spoke of imminent glomping the moment they were clear of the Tendo Disaster Area.

"He's a skater Ranma once beat to save Akane's pet pig. Why do you bring him up, Ranma darling?" Nabiki fought with an urge to gaze upon him sweetly. She lost. He found himself thawing and grinning slightly in return, beginning to build a trust for this new Nabiki. He pointed to a picture hung in the stairwell.

They all looked. It was of Akane, surrounded by like eleven guys. They included practically everyone they knew who had fighting experience: Kuno, Ryoga, Mousse, Mikado and a few others. In the picture Akane was obviously uncomfortable, and many of the guys didn't appear any happier.

Ranma pointed out a brown-haired girl in an absolutely gorgeous (if overly cute) wedding dress, pointing a finger at the group and laughing.

"She is Azusa Shiratori, Mikado's skating partner. And, despite her appearance, a fairly formidable fighter. Not that I couldn't beat her, of course."

"Of course." Three females agreed with wry grins.

"Oh... My..." Kasumi had thought to stop in on her kitchen for one or two things. She exited with her hands empty and her face slightly appalled as she rejoined the group. She'd gone past shock and numb and now had a faint tinge of horror.

Ranma grabbed his bag and staff, waving with the latter he said merely "guide us swiftly home" and a glowing needle of light appeared in the air, which they followed out of the Tendo house.

"RANMA!" Akane's voice from upstairs was showing signs that she was coming out of the shock, but it was too late. They were already gone.

Akane heard the group leave and turned back to her diary with a vengeance. Where had things started to go wrong? How could she put it back together?

Engaged to Kuno? Kuno! This was beyond intolerable. Ranma was a jerk, and a pervert, but at least he... but she... if only... KUNO?

Retrieving and flipping to the front of the diary, she began looking for something to indicate where the past had been altered. She found it and frowned. It had only been a few months ago...

OoOoO

After a brief and not terribly exciting trip, Ranma spent a moment examining the building. "You girls go on inside. If we're going to be staying here then there are some things I really ought to do."

The girls filed in with many sidelong glances at Ranma, whose attention was already diverted, first rummaging around in his bag and then pacing to get several angles of the hill. From his vantage point he could see one of Kasumi's dresses out hanging on a washline strung from the side of the temple up on top. Noting that, he spent a moment examining the hill itself.

While quite large by Japan's standards of undeveloped land, it didn't seem very massive to him. The temple at its peak was a little beaten up and the grounds looked mostly uncared for. But, important for his purposes, there was a little, short retaining wall, around knee height, surrounding the base of the hill itself, with ceremonial gates set in it and trails cut by trespassers cutting across bushes or the like. But the hill itself was obviously one piece of land, and Kasumi's dress, fluttering from the temple atop it, led him to suspect that it belonged to them.

Coming to this conclusion, Ranma took from his belt a knife. This knife, while he looked at it, became a full-on laborer's trenching shovel, the handle springing out to an appropriate length and the blade widening and curving. With that, he turned a stroke's worth of dirt to mark the spot, and returned the instantly restored knife to his belt where it promptly disappeared again. Then the mage squatted down and opened the top of his handy travel bag.

"Shovel, Trowel, Chisel, Gloves, build the wall that Ranma loves."

As he named each item, a corresponding, and to all appearances, self aware, little tool hopped out of the bag and stood in a review line for him. Upon receiving their command, the little tools immediately began to float off to their work.

The shovel, merely a spade really, went to the spot that Ranma had indicated and began to dig up the short, crumbling retaining wall and into the earth beneath. In a few, short strokes it had dug a trench clear down to the bedrock, heaping the earth to the side as it continued on to lengthen an open pit trench that was at least twenty feet deep.

The trowel, looking more like a kid's toy than a full-on mason's tool, cleared itself a flat area and, to all appearances, began making mud pies. Only, with swift, sure strokes it formed the mud, lifting and shaping it into blocks that suddenly hardened into brownish rock, the color of the mud that had formed them.

As Ranma wandered by wielding his staff, supervising, he made the comment. "I prefer white, really."

Hearing this, the little tool dissolved the blocks it had been forming and patted the dirt for a bit. When it began to work again, the mud it formed into solid blocks was a soft and pearly white, almost luminescent.

The chisel, a sharpened peg of iron with not much to recommend it, received the rough blocks the trowel formed and blazed at them like a cartoon woodpecker, in seconds transforming each into finished building stones of perfect craftsmanship.

The gloves, an older pair without elegance, began lifting the multi-ton stones as the chisel finished with them, moving them over and lowering them into the pit. Ranma stopped it as it carried over the very first block.

"No, allow me. The cornerstone should really be laid by the builder. Symbolism, you understand." Waving his staff so the stone became light enough it almost floated, the archmage moved the block over the pit, lifted it and hopped down in, then carefully placed the block where it should go. As he gazed on in satisfaction, the work gloves flew in with stone after stone, placing more than one a second.

Hopping back out of the work pit, Ranma reviewed his laboring tools and began to smile and nod in satisfaction. The tools were getting into their groove and increasing their pace to where they blurred. There was quite a rush of air as a wall seemingly built itself up from the bedrock to about twelve feet above ground level, then spread like wildfire in a line around the base of the hill.

Since their restaurant was the only structure on the hill other than their temple, and since it stood at the base while the temple perched above, Ranma gave the order for the wall to be linked to both sides of the restaurant, making it their gatehouse in a way.

Walking, he reviewed the construction going on. The wall was going in exactly as he liked it, with a base about twelve feet wide at the bedrock and only a few feet at the top, giving it a pyramid effect that would go mostly unseen when the pit was filled in, yet would provide bracing and support against the worst attacks, from either inside or outside of the walls.

He would have liked to add, instead of the decorative crenelations being put in atop the wall now, actual, functional battlements and an extra two dozen feet in height. But he realized that he had a siege mentality and a warrior's viewpoint. The possibility of him having need to man this wall to fight against sorcerous invasion here was small, and there were limits on how highly you could politely fortify a home in a land ruled by someone else.

With that in mind, the tools left a few, wide, open gates, hung with wrought iron grills that could be easily closed or opened as he liked. It was a great deal less secure than he would have preferred, but it did add the effect of making the area inside seem welcoming and friendly, instead of threatening or foreboding.

On that thought, he directed his tools to add a second wall a comfortable bit inside the first. That would make this the lower terrace, and one that he could open to the public on occasion, perhaps on holy days, while leaving him generous privacy on the upper. There could be much fewer gates to the upper terrace, with greater security and protection, without seeming at all unfriendly.

It was very important not to seem unfriendly when you were an archmage moving into someone else's territory. Governments could get very touchy about it, as could rival mages.

Checking to make sure the drainage was properly taken care of by the tools, he went about plotting out where he would put the garden paths and where best he could locate each of his trees.

OoOoO

After wandering in the front door (Ukyo discovered that she'd been carrying the key - apparently not all the girls had one yet), the four young ladies stood for a while taking in the entranceway.

"Not bad. Whoever built this has taste, I'll say that." Ukyo appraised the large entrance hall they were all standing in.

Shampoo grinned and went to kick a wall. The building made a loud thoom, but no break appeared. She grinned maniacally. "Is good, amazon construction! Airen know to build safe place for wives to sleep in. Village fights not bring roof down on head. Is wise husband!"

Kasumi, whose hands had been clutched to her breasts in quasi-fright for some while now, stirred herself and lowered them. Crossing over to a nearby counter for the checking of reservations, she wiped her finger across it.

Immaculately clean.

Some of her color restored to her, Kasumi looked about herself. Testing another surface, some could see her resolve harden. It might not have been the home she was born in, but it was clean. No ramen cups to be found anywhere.

She could live here.

As for Nabiki, she could only stare.

While the others busied themselves with their gawking at trivialities, Nabiki had crossed over to a wall behind the waiter's kiosk to run her fingers over the inset relief she found there. The carved mural was a good eight feet by eight and didn't even rise halfway to the ceiling. The size was important. What it depicted was trivial, the intricacy of the work did increase the value, however.

All those were side issues to what this was *made* of.

Gold. They'd used GOLD to place a decoration in their entrance way? What if someone stole it? Nabiki began to think of a better place for it. Her room sounded nice. One wall just made up of this fantastic golden mural. Yes, that would be perfect.

It would be, err, safe there. Yeah, that was it. She'd just be saving them the price of putting an armed guard over this mural 24 hours a day. It was a cost decision.

Ukyo removed her hands from her hips and stopped looking around. Locking the door behind her, she began to usher everyone further inside. "C'mon you guys, I wanna find out where we sleep. I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm anxious to change out of my fighting togs."

Suddenly, Ukyo stopped in her tracks, her eyes flying wide and filling up with starlight. "Oh! You know in a place this size Ranchan might have even put in a *big* bathtub! Oh, no more cramping up eating my knees in the Ucchan!"

She began to run deeper into the restaurant.

"Ranma-honey, I *love* you!"

OoOoO

Satisfied with the final, basic construction, having placed the capstone himself and put his marvelous tools away, Ranma selected the outer wall that ran around the base of the hill as his first defense. He walked up to it and pressed two of his fingers to the pearly stone.

"Runeweaver." He whispered, and with a green and gold flare at his fingertips, several lines sprang forth and began to etch themselves into the surface of the wall. They raced out with great speed, cutting what looked to be an elaborate, decorative pattern into the part of the wall just below the eaves. In seconds the entire compound, from wall to restaurant, was ringed by this pattern.

Ranma removed his fingertips, grinning softly to himself. "Well, that certainly saves in basic carving time. I'm glad I invented that spell."

A woman who had witnessed this all happen shook her head and walked off, trying to convince herself that she hadn't seen what she thought she'd seen.

Ranma was oblivious, by now pulling several small bags of crystals out of his bag and going to work. In a very short while, every thirty feet, high up along the wall, there was an inlaid mosaic, about the size of a man's palm, made up of a variety of semiprecious stones arranged to be colorful and pretty. They *also* served as local energy points for the warding circle he'd placed, using the engravings along the eaves as his base. The semiprecious mosaics added strength to the enchantment and also served as a kind of damage control. An attacking power could destroy a portion of the warding circle and only gain access through only a single, thirty-foot section instead of bringing down the entire protective ring.

It complicated invasion and made repair of the defense easier. The precious mosaics were also under permanent anti-theft enchantments, as Ranma wasn't nearly as much a fool as he had once been. Gripping his staff in both hands, he held it high and gathered energy in a blazing white ball at the crystal in its tip. Lightning bolts of white energy crackled all about him as he gathered power for his spell, then he laid the tip of his staff gently against the nearest edge of the wall.

"Siegestone."

The energy drained away like a switch being flipped, but there was no apparent effect. Ranma smiled anyway, and rapped the wall with his knuckles, then stood back, obviously satisfied.

Spreading both hands wide, and perching his staff between them, balanced in the gaps before his thumbs, fingers splayed, he intoned.

"Castle Protect."

There was a visual effect like a million stars all contracting and settling into the wall, before an appearance of normalicy was restored. Once again gripping his staff, Ranma twirled it about once and whispered. "Perfect."

With a solid first line of defense laid against evil or supernatural assault, and nothing about to damage his wall soon, Ranma shouldered his bag and went inside the restaurant, thinking that he'd lay the rest of his defensive enchantments later, after he'd had a break to restore his energies.

Across the street, businesses began to open their curtains and wonder what all that electrical disturbance had been about. What greeted their eyes was a new wall that had sprung up on the temple's side of the street. Many of them wandered out to wonder at it.

"You remember this being here?"

A shaken head. "Wasn't here this morning."

A customer with a cup of caffeine still in one hand shook his head in refusal. "This morning? It wasn't here *five minutes* ago!"

A baker, spoon still in hand, paused and looked around himself. "Well, this is Nerima. Still, I'm more used to buildings *not* being there when you've turned your back on them for a minute."

A chorus of solemn nods.

"Is the bathhouse still standing?"

They all checked. It was on their side of the street.

"Looks like it."

"I think I'm gunna have me a bath."

"Sure? Looks like a pretty wall. Might not be here when you get back."

"I'm sure. Wouldn't want to miss my opportunity. Things'll get jammed and its my only opportunity before the lunch rush."

Many groans. A reminder that the quiet emptiness now enjoyed was only a prelude to the mobs of their busier hours.

OoOoO

The restaurant inside was bright, cheerful, and had elements of the Cat Cafe, Ucchan's, and other elements that nobody could immediately place. Some of the outer walls were shaped like ice waterfalls, backlit for lighting. Other parts were enfolded in jungle-like canopy so tables could eat in privacy, but by far most of the seating was in a massive, open area that looked like an arena with seats and tables ringing around a floor that was a massive kitchen. Further exploration was put on hold until a few more answers could be found.

Ukyo found the stairs up to the living quarters in the area between the big prep kitchens and the storage areas. The opulence had dimmed a bit away from the big show areas where the customers were expected, becoming surfaces less ornate and easier to keep clean.

Climbing up the steps, the four girls ran into an apartment area not unlike a high class highrise, only with *lots* more space than typical for a Japanese design. There were hallways and doors leading off into individual apartments, plus they could see a big, common sitting room with wide windows letting in the sun.

Kasumi stepped out from standing among the others to look at the sitting room. While not traditional in its furnishings, there was an open appeal to it. Large wood was a predominant theme, vaulted ceilings with skylights and chairs with ample padding. Plants swung from hanging planters or stood in stands while books made it a pleasant sort of place where one could spend time occupying oneself in solitude or with a party of friends.

She sniffed. There were only pleasant smells. She checked in a local garbage can. It was empty and sanitary. Looking about, it was obvious that the drapes were well cared for and the wood well polished. Finally, she wiped a finger across a hard-to-reach corner above a mantle, behind a small statue standing in an alcove, and then behind a vase in a recessed stand. Finding not a speck of dust, she beamed a smile.

There was no evidence of home destroyers anywhere to be found.

It was spotlessly clean, peaceful, and tasteful. Even moderately elegant.

She could live here.

Kasumi became, if not happy, then at least content.

Shampoo threw herself down in one of the large, padded chairs. "Mmm, these chairs made in village. Is good, amazon design. See?" She got up and lifted the chair above her head, straining to do it. Then she dropped it back with a thud. "Even Violent Tomboy have trouble breaking these chairs. They sturdy, and *very* comfortable."

In evidence of her last statement, Shampoo dropped back down into the chair and oozed out a sigh of contentment.

Kasumi had suddenly recalled to her mind the image of Akane breaking their... err, *her* veranda's screen door that day, and began to brightly appreciate the concept of sturdy furnishings and construction.

Nabiki had focused on more practical matters, and now approached the others. "Hey, guys, which of you has the key? We've got to find which apartment is ours and the only way we've got so far is by trying locks."

There came a searching of pockets. Finally, Ukyo handed over her key ring. "Here, those are the keys to my restaurant. The only one I don't recognize is the one that got us in the front door here, but maybe it works in one of these doors too."

As Nabiki accepted and was pondering over the key ring, there came a sound of a door opening behind them. Instantly spinning and hiding the keys behind her back, Nabiki had cause to suddenly wonder what her concern was about.

A woman entered the open room and closed on the girls, hugging them each individually. Nabiki was frozen in shock as she watched this person move between and, smiling brightly, hug each one of them. So much so that she obviously tipped off the older woman, who came to stop at Nabiki as her last recipient.

"Why, Nabiki, dear. Whatever could be the matter?"

The middle Tendo daughter's wits restarted. Stock: Long hair, done up fancily in a vaguely Chinese style, check. Green silk, Chinese dress, check. Earrings and other ornaments, check. Utter lack of kimono, traditional hairstyle, wrapped bundle, or any other familiar element.

Yet it could not be denied that this was Nodoka.

"A... Aun... Auntie?"

Nodoka turned to Ukyo. "Ukyo-chan, could you please tell me what the matter could be with Nabiki? She seems distraught... or confused. I haven't been your Auntie for months, ever since I became your mother."

"M... mom?" Ukyo blinked out. When Nodoka nodded, Ukyo barreled into her in a warm hug. "Oh Mom! I have a mom! I'm so happy!"

Nodoka raised her eyes to the rest in confusion.

There came a warm purr from Shampoo's chair.

Kasumi smiled winsomely at her mother, giving calming reassurance. "Don't worry about them, mother. Ranma was just taking us horseback riding. There's nothing the matter."

Shampoo's head popped up, with her eyes rising barely above the rim of the chair arm. "Only Kasumi get more than fair turn!" The indignant amazon then sludged back into the warm comfort of the chair.

Kasumi blinked innocently. "I guess I *did* get to ride longer than any of the others."

Glancing down at the daughter-in-law plastering her in a hug, and the still not-yet-recovered Nabiki, Nodoka answered. "You mean after three months and my son's attentions still effect them this strongly?" She smiled proudly.

Kasumi began to look slightly strained. While that's *not* what she'd meant, apparently the idea satisfied her new mother. Kasumi filed that under 'excuses not to use in the future' as too embarrassing.

OoOoO

The pot of untended ingredients burbled and bubbled on the Tendo stove. This wasn't THAT unusual. Little flickers of purple lightning, on the other hand, were not common.

Akane got back to her first attempt to make a magical potion, dropping her diary nearby, only to see the purple jolts weaving together in the air over the pot. The air ripped open and a character that could have been drawn by Warner Brothers stepped out.

"FREE! FREE AT LAST! TO RAVAGE AND PILLAGE AND..." The ludicrous looking figure stopped in mid-rant. "Hold on. Something's not right here."

Akane started checking the recipe. This couldn't be right. How could she have summoned a batwinged purple platypus? This was supposed to be a dispelling magic!

"WHAT DID YOU DO?" The platypus was quite alarmed. "I'm supposed to be nine feet tall, and have BIG, sharp... and I'm NOT supposed to look anything like this!"

"Maybe I shouldn't have used the miso soup base for lavender." Akane thought to herself. She didn't think it made THAT big a difference.

"You're kidding, right? You didn't," the platypus caught a glimpse of the papers. "How in the Nine Hells did you summon me when you were trying to cast Nimodes' Nifty Nullifier?"

"Go away. You're not what I wanted and you're distracting me."

"Like it or not, toots, you're stuck with me. You've got to make a wish, then I've got to collect the payment. Them's the rules about summoning demons."

Akane looked over the platypus and made a depreciating noise.

"It's *your* fault, mortal! Somehow you set this up so my summoning parameters were screwed up. Now I'm seven inches tall and a purple... whatever I am. Hurry up and make your wish so I can get back to normal!"

"A wish?" Akane grinned. Maybe this would work out anyway. "I wish that Ranma had never made that wish!"

"Hmmmm?" The platypus flew over and started leafing through her diary. "No can do, toots. The effects have already settled down. I can change the past, but he's had a dozen years of relative time to work on it. That's beyond my range. The rest of this stuff's too widespread. I do have limited power, you know."

"Well, then, fix what it did! Make him not married to any of those people!"

"That I can do." The demon agreed and buzzed off at high speed. All he needed to do was kill this Ranma person, mortal marriages were til death do they part. Then he'd go back and carry that dumb sorceress off to the Pits Of Despair and make her spend a few centuries paying for turning him into a purple whatever-the-heck he was!

OoOoO

To the girl's surprise, they found (without directly asking) that they did not live in the apartments above the restaurant, but at the temple at the top of the hill. On their way out, they met Ranma coming into the building and the whole lot of them trooped up there together.

The temple was a sprawling but well-intended hodgepodge that had started out in some distant past as a shrine dedicated to some force of nature and had known a number of owners since. The stained glass had to have come from a Catholic period of occupation, the wood construction was thoroughly Shinto, but some of the Buddhist elements caught one by surprise. In all, it was large and fairly purposeless and gave the impression of a wise old man who'd grown fairly confused. Friendly in a muddled sort of way.

It was an ancient temple, which actually disappointed the girls somewhat as that meant there was no running water or electricity. But it was beautiful (and clean) and so none of them were going to complain about it much so far. Someone had discovered hints that improvements were planned, so they wouldn't need to be envying the staff living in the restaurant apartments for long.

Kasumi determined there was not a panda furball as far as the eye could see, and relaxed her apprehension.

Everyone quickly found their rooms. But, to their surprise, none of the girls had really unpacked yet, even after having supposedly been home for three days. What *did* surprise them was when they chose to congregate in Ranma's room.

Ukyo whistled low and soft.

"Aiyaah!" Shampoo's face went white, then rosy. She chanced a speculative glance across at her husband.

The color drained from Kasumi's face and she began to appear very small and mouselike.

Nabiki tackled Ranma onto the gigantic bed that was the master bedroom's primary feature. They sank six inches into its plush softness and bounced lightly as the bed rebounded.

"So, Ranma." She found herself unable not to purr seductively. "Our wedding bed. How nice."

Ukyo blinked, then made a move for the door. "Uhh, maybe we should leave you two alone for awhile."

Kasumi looked ready to bolt.

Shampoo jumped and came down, legs tucked up, bottom first, on the bed, bouncing Nabiki off of their husband. As the bed jostled them up and down she rode it like waves. "Sneaky Girl not to seduce husband now! Is much too much talking to do." Her eyes went level and sultry toward their target. "Seduce husband later, when all talking finished."

Seeing that Ranma's room was the only one set up, orderly, with everything put away, Ukyo went to one of the many bookshelves and pulled out the volumes of photo albums she found there, taking them over and dropping them onto the bed. Then she joined the others in bouncing on it.

Opening the first scrapbook, Ukyo noticed that Kasumi still hadn't moved. "Say sugar, what's the matter? Aren't you going to join us?"

Kasumi was still looking with something very closely approaching fright at the humongous bed. She pointed at it.

Shampoo saw the point and divined the question. "Is Amazon Marriage Bed. Is too too many centuries since last time one built in village. They rare, but all amazon girl dream to have one. Is *very* great honor. Need husband of great status to afford, then only happen when great sculptor in tribe. Wife have to pose many hour."

Kasumi Eeeped, looking paler by the moment.

It was an enormous bed, nine feet across at the least. The way it bounced and rippled made it look almost like the sea, an impression the richly blue coverlets were no doubt intended to enhance. But it did not sag around its occupants like a waterbed would. It more gave the impression of being a blue cloud on which angels might rest.

That was not the difficulty the oldest Tendo daughter was having with it.

It was a four poster bed, with every surface carved and richly detailed... which *was* giving Kasumi her problem. The wood was a pale golden color, unstained but lovingly polished. And the idea of someone polishing *that* made Kasumi weak in the knees, because all four posters, the head and foot boards were all made up of female figures, highly accurate female figures. Specifically, it was made up of Ranma's wives.

Kasumi was compulsively staring at the right hand poster nearest to her, where her own image was made, arms overhead to hold up the canopy, head twisted to gaze back toward the center of the bed. Her pose was... not immoral, not wanton, but on the fair side of sultry. Her image was dressed, as were all the other girls depicted, in a fair approximation of Greek robes. A *thin* Greek robe, to be precise.

From her position it was only possible to get a look at the back of her statue's head. Fearing the worst, Kasumi leaned around to get a look at her copy's face. What she saw astonished her, causing her to blink. She'd suspected the artist would have taken liberties from which Kasumi would never recover her dignity, some lustful thing, no doubt, putting an expression on her that would have shamed her to her dying day.

It wasn't like that at all. Her face, done in golden wood, was staring with adoring and open love at the place where Ranma was now bobbing in the receding waves. It was a happy and carefree expression, the face of someone who'd found everything she'd ever wanted and then some. It wasn't lustful. It was... joyous.

The Tendo daughter's face went slack with astonishment. She stared at Ranma and blinked several times.

He could have made her feel like that? No, it wasn't... possible? But how could the artist have captured her face so beautifully unless she'd somehow seen that look on her? Could he really have made her feel like that?

Shampoo was staring proudly at where her own poster was gazing down on them, her face an open expression of gladness with just a hint of mischief. On both of Shampoo's faces, now that the others thought about it.

"Is very good design. Shampoo not know we have artist in village who can do such carving. Is very precious. Is monument to love for husband, see? Bride pose on day before wedding. Maybe week before wedding for this many. Mattress ready and is used as wedding bed, then couple go off on journey. Leave relatives for honeymoon. When come back, bed is finished and is final wedding gift, after land and flocks. Is very symbolic, very precious. Legend say so long as love last bride can no be made do anything hurt husband, and he always faithful."

Shampoo wiped a tear away, sniffing at the beauty of the symbolism.

Ukyo found herself dewing up just a bit too. Absently, she reached out and snagged Nabiki's collar, pulling her away from where she'd been rubbing her face in Ranma's chest. "Behave yourself, sugar. We're not done yet."

"These aren't the pictures we saw at... at Akane's house." Kasumi had flipped open one of the photo albums, having joined the others on the bed, her own carved face having given her an unspoken assurance that it was alright.

The others opened their photo albums and discovered that was true. There were the pictures Akane had, but also many others she hadn't.

Ukyo showed one to Shampoo. "Do you have any idea where this is?"

The amazon looked at it and shook her head, eyes wide. "Is not any place near village. Those not mountains of amazon homeland." She measured up the warriors depicted. Big, strong males and as many strong females, all armed and looking like they'd been having a grand time.

"Here's another. Hey! There's a whole series!" Ukyo was flipping through her book, revealing page upon page of exotic locales filled with the big foreign men and warrior women. Shampoo stared at a picture of herself posing next to a guy who had to scrape seven feet tall, all of it chiseled muscle. They were standing upon a surface that'd been painted to look like a giant rainbow, only it didn't *look* like paint, or even a real floor. It had to be a photographic effect. Anyway, Shampoo and the monstrously tall warrior were both in identical poses of guardianship, only the near giant had a fatherly wink down at the comparatively tiny amazon, who was trying hard to keep the mischief off her face and look serious. It was adorable.

Nabiki scooted closer to this conversation, riding the bumps that her movement caused. "Wow. So Ranma darling's not only loaded, he's got some kind of wild cult of warriors we're now all friends with." She glanced briefly aside at Shampoo's stunned reaction to her words before looking down to see a photo of herself wearing furs and holding a bloody-tipped boar spear next to the corpse of the aforementioned variety of wild pig, and looking absurdly pleased with herself. Nabiki had to doubletake at *how* childishly pleased with herself she looked. She couldn't remember actually *smiling* like that in...

Whenever. She had to have smiled like that once, right?

Nabiki shook herself from introspective stupor and went on. "Anyway, it seems we've been pouring a ton of money into Shampoo's tribe. I took a glance at our books and we've got some serious smuggling going on, sending all sorts of loot their way, and we've bought so many amazon goods that I can't help but think their tribe is flourishing."

Ukyo uncovered a picture of herself cooking okanomiyaki for what seemed an endless throng of well-built men and women garbed in silvery mail. She could only help but wonder at it. She seemed happy in the photo, though.

There was another big group picture that neither she nor Nabiki could identify. They were all, the entire crowd of what they assumed were they and Ranma's other wives, bathing in some wild hot spring or other. It couldn't have been that hot because Ranma was still in girl form, even while taking a dip in it. Since Shampoo was also in her girl form that had to mean the water hovered around that elusive temperature that wouldn't trigger a curse either way. Either that or magic was involved.

She made to show the photo to the other girl. "Hey, Shampoo. Do you..." She noticed that the busty amazon was nowhere near where they'd last left her.

"Hey!" Ukyo yanked at the back of Shampoo's short dress, pulling her from where she'd been perched atop and aggressively nuzzling Ranma.

The amazon began to scramble, yanking on Ranma's clothes. "Shampoo want to see husband naked!"

"Later, please!" Kasumi pled, looking far more distressed and urgent than any of them had ever seen her before. Her plea caused Shampoo to stop yanking at the ties on Ranma's clothes. Quietly, they all subsided and went back to their books. Nabiki found something almost immediately, having switched to looking over her diary (why it was shelved in Ranma's room, looking like it belonged, she did not want to speculate).

Nabiki flipped through her journal to make sure this was the relevant entry, read it twice to herself, then read it aloud to the stunned audience.

=Journal Entry=  
from the journal of Saotome Nabiki:  
February 13, 1993

Well, even dealing with our normal level of insanity, today was... unusual.

Ranma was being fed breakfast that Akane had made with her usual attention to instructions. Sushi for breakfast is unusual, but _blowfish_? Even Akane should have known better.

Anyway, trained martial artist with an iron constitution or not, Ranma was dead on arrival. Genma called his wife, gave her the news, and there we all were dealing with a martial artist who had assumed room temperature. I don't think even blowfish toxin is supposed to work that quickly, but we won't know what Akane did with it until the lab boys give their report.

End of story, right? If it had happened to me, probably. This is Ranma, however, and weird things seem drawn to his presence. Tofu says it's because his yin and yang are so out of balance. I dunno.

So, anyway, this girl pops in out of nowhere, and tells us that ol' man Genma had made a deal with certain spirits back when he was caught stealing scrolls out of some temple in Okinawa. Promising them, of course, his first born son in return for his release.

At which point everyone else notices what I'm staring at and start to take this a little more seriously than the average nut escaping out of the psycho ward. She was still floating a good two inches off the ground. No wires, no mirrors, no optical illusion. Floating.

So, we manage to tell her that Ranma's dead, and you'd expect her to go and find something better to do, right? No. She goes to Ranma's bedside, pulls the sheet off his face and forces a vial of something into his mouth. One light show later, Ranma is blinking and complaining about how much he hurts.

So, we're dealing with all this, when Auntie Saotome says that because Akane has killed Ranma once already, that she's going to exercise her privilege as Ranma's mother and cancel the Akane-Ranma engagement. She doesn't know Akane, but she doesn't care at this point. She favors this new girl, for obvious reasons.

Strange girl, that, shy and demure, doesn't like to call attention to herself, but when she gets it into her head that something needs done- get out of her way! She's got a stereotypical gaijin appearance; blonde hair, blue eyes, top heavy, but seeming to have a bubbly enthusiasm that shows through whenever she's doing something.

So I get her name, and do an information search. I contacted (Nabiki mumbled something and hurried past that part, something about it not being important). I didn't bother to tell him the details, I just wanted to find out everything he could about some woman named "Astrild."

He remarked that looking for a Norwegian girl in Tokyo would be rather easier than some of the tasks he'd been given in the past.

=End Journal Entry=

Nabiki looked up at the assembled group. "Astrild?"

A purple haired head was shaking. "Shampoo not know name. Maybe Ukyo?"

"Hey!" Nabiki and Shampoo appeared on either side of the okanomiyaki chef, catching her lying atop of Ranma, her cheek held close against his now bare chest, sighing in joy. Ukyo had the grace to look sheepish. It almost worked, too. They had to think about it before they pried her off of their collective husband.

They somehow neglected to return his shirt to him

"Wait turn!" Shampoo admonished her sister-wife.

Ukyo swished her long hair, suddenly playful and girlish. "Honey, as far as I'm concerned, I'm first in line."

"Can we not argue about it, please?" Kasumi pled, looking like she more than halfway wished she were elsewhere. They all looked repentant and had the grace to back off.

Ranma sat up woozily, three different shades of lipstick coloring his face. His eyes uncrossed and he had the grace to ask. "Huh?" It became apparent that the poor male had weakened under the near-continual hormone-tweaking assaults he'd been under, and against which he'd had no defense.

They waited a moment for him to recover.

"Ranma-honey, do you know anyone named Astrild?" Ukyo asked, having been listening in spite of her other activity.

Ranma's eyes widened and he sat up straight. "Uh oh."

"Ranchan?" Ukyo said in a low voice. "Do you want to share this knowledge with the rest of the group?"

He flicked his wrist and his staff went from being a bracelet to full length in his hand and he floated off the bed. "Something just impacted our outer ring of wards. I wasn't expecting any kind of sorcerous assault, especially this soon. Come, I'm going to inspect them to make sure nothing got through."

The young ladies scrambled off the bed to follow the floating mage out into the corridor outside the room. He grabbed his shirt on the way out.


	3. Chaos Before the Storm

Astrild's Restaurant

The Sapphire Bet, Chapter Three  
The Chaos Before The Storm

Formerly: A Bet Too Much, Blue Side.

by Jared Ornstead  
aka Skysaber

OoOoO

Ranma came flying out of the house trailed by his wives. When the girls came out, they found their attention diverted by the humongous wall. On their way up out of the restaurant their attention had obviously been diverted with weighty things, but now paying some attention to their environment they had to wonder.

"Where did this wall come from?" Ukyo asked.

Nabiki crossed over to it. Even here, on the upper terrace, with the ground level higher than the wall's other face, it was more than she could do to touch the wall's top with a stick.

Shampoo bounded effortlessly to the peak of the edifice, glancing around and informing her sister wives. "Is new fortification. Dirt all churned up from building, Shampoo say all happen today, maybe in last hour. Shampoo also see many gates in lower wall, few in upper. Gates bound by iron fences made to look like roses."

Kasumi glanced over her shoulder. Ranma flew to their left, having completed a quick circuit of the outer wall and found nothing. He was now involved in some obscure function about their inner wall. Or at least Shampoo said there were two.

Nabiki took a look around. "You say there are gates in this?"

The amazon jumped down. "Come. Shampoo show nasty..." She paused both in her rush and in thought, addressing Nabiki. "Can no call nasty, extortionist girl anymore, can Shampoo?"

Kasumi and Nabiki both shook their heads. Ukyo touched her chin in thought. "Well, I guess we're not really rivals anymore, are we?" The brown haired girl shook her ponytailed head. "This is going to take some getting used to."

The eldest of the two Tendo daughters found enough bravery to suggest. "Ukyo, about the way you dress..."

Ukyo had no more time for a questioning "Hmm?" before Shampoo, restrained no longer, rushed off to show them the gate and they had to follow. When they arrived there they *all* had to pause and wonder.

The gate itself was a high archway, high enough for even a tall man wearing a tall hat to pass through without stooping. A pair of wrought iron grills served as double doors to close this off, and the workmanship was extremely fine.

Kasumi's eye's came alight in wonder, and she reached out to touch the trellis, for that was what it was made to look like. Nabiki was considering value, and found herself without comparison. Ukyo and Shampoo just stood there rapt in awe.

Each one of the double doors was made in a fashion that exactly imitated rose vines growing over a carefully tended trellis. There were blossoms and leaves and thorns as well as vines and iron done in precise imitation of the wooden frame over which they grew. The whole work was awesome in its detail, from blushing buds and new leaves to the sagging weight of old. Save for color and stillness alone, they might actually be looking at rose vines on a wooden frame.

They half expected wind to blow the leaves.

Ukyo reached out to test a thorn, withdrawing her finger at the touch. "Well, nobody's going to be climbing *that* soon."

The others started at her remark, in the beauty of the thing having lost touch with it's purpose, which was to keep intruders out. Speculating on this thought, however, revealed the accuracy of the remark. Iron leaves and roses completed with spikes and thorns; it was as hostile to an intrepid climber as a solid bed of spikes. Nobody, with even half the wits the Creator gave man, would even try.

Nabiki took hold of a properly situated bulb and pushed the gate lightly. It opened soundlessly, the bulb serving as a knob. "Come on, it's not locked."

The young women trouped through, finding on the other side a split staircase, going down to either side in a sweeping fashion that elegantly hung close to the wall. Ukyo again pointed out how effective it was, as from the lower side the gate appeared halfway up the wall and no vehicle could navigate the steps. Even motorcycles would find them steep and narrow.

Kasumi was doubtful of the whole thought of turning their house into a fortress, yet none of the other girls could agree with her. Nabiki even pointed out a need. "Look Kasumi, Ranma's a hotshot martial artist, but he's *our* hotshot martial artist. It may be one thing for him to keep getting attacked in the middle of the night by revenge-crazed rivals when he's alone. But what about when *we're* with him?"

Kasumi got very quiet and thought about that.

Her birth sister threw weight onto the idea, adding in her way a conclusion. "*I'd* rather not wake up at 3 AM to find Ryoga's fist come crashing toward my face because he mistook my husband and I in the dark."

The other two girls agreed heartily.

Kasumi drew in upon herself to consider the implications of this.

Above them, Ranma had completed the warding/detection circuit he'd put off earlier (thinking he'd have plenty of time). Air rippled all around as invisibilities and other deceptive magics were canceled.

In seconds he'd found what he was looking for. "Aha! There it is!" Ranma pointed with the crystal in the end of his staff. "Divine Thunderbolt!"

The platypus who'd set off the warding circle by trying to cross it, blacking itself out in the process, recovered its senses just as a pencil-thin beam of light with helixes of lightning wrapped around the shaft slammed into his chest. The resulting blast produced an outward push of air that sounded like a thunderclap heard from the front row.

The seven-inch, purple thing flew out of it, not unhurt, but not severely injured either. Ranma fell back beyond the boundary of the wall and the platypus' charge met with a crackling wall of magic that appeared when it tried to cross, rebounding the creature and once again stunning it.

Ranma didn't bother to call out an attack phrase, but out of his staff's end flew several globes of whitish green energy. They passed through the little platypus without leaving a mark, but when the globes hit the street they dissolved huge craters into the road.

Shaking itself, the demon drew a golden, glowing symbol in the air facing Ranma, and seemed as surprised as the mage when that symbol turned out to be a large, glowing happy face.

This time Ranma blasted it with a washing jetstream of visibly crackling fire. No effect.

"Shoo." Kasumi waved her skirts at the creature

To everyone's surprise, the creature shrieked and twisted, writhing in agony as blue gas escaped from its every pore. Seconds later it had dissolved and was gone.

Everyone stood staring at Kasumi.

"I would never have believed it." Ranma stood stunned.

"Yah, it kind of surprised me too, sugar."

"Womans of Amazon village have legends of this." The buxom one shook her purple crowned head. "But Shampoo never expect to see."

"Legends?" practically everyone turned to regard the Amazon in their midst.

Shampoo nodded. "Yes, legends say one who is pure has power to destroy demons." Her lips formed a pout. "But purity so high few can achieve. Centuries since last time anyone in village try. Weapons more reliable."

Ranma negated that thought. "Not against THAT kind. Someone had summoned a very powerful critter, then imbued it with extra enchantments to make it practically immune to hostile magic. Who would be stupid enough to summon something like that in the middle of a population center?" Ranma wondered aloud as he allowed himself to float at sitting level. He touched down just as his wives came running up.

"Ranchan, what was it?" Ukyo felt it important to know.

"Something very dangerous." Ranma answered, brushing off the sleeves of his robe. "Fortunately, it got slain. Also fortunately, my wards held against it. But whoever sent that thing is certain enough of his own control not to fear making something that vile practically invulnerable to offensive magic. I didn't think there were many, or *any*, magi in this area. I certainly don't know why one would hate me so badly. I just moved here, after all."

"Excuse me, Ranma. Where did these walls come from?" Kasumi was the first to change the subject and ask what they'd all been wondering, staring at the edifices they couldn't possibly miss.

"Mm? Oh. Sorry, I built these while you girls first went inside. Mages live or die by their caution, and I like to have a good barrier spell in effect anywhere I relax for a while, for times like now when an attack came with no warning whatsoever." He shook his head again, asking himself. "Who would summon a demon *that* powerful in the middle of a city?"

Nabiki couldn't and did not want to deal with that subject. Demons had always been Ranma's department and she was happy to leave it that way. Instead, she put a hand on the wall. "No mortar? Husband dear, I don't know much about building walls but I know you have to stick them together somehow."

Ranma, smiling, came close and ran his hand along some thinner-than-hairline seams. "In building anything you have two basic choices, Nabiki; cheap and expedient or costly and careful. If I had used bricks, certainly, mortar would have been necessary. Just because you need something to even out the imperfections in their surface so that their weight rests evenly. These are multi-ton blocks. When using stones of this size mortar is unnecessary, even undesirable. Mortar isn't enough to even rough surfaces on anything this heavy. You just have to cut the blocks more smoothly, and these are cut interlocking like puzzle pieces for added strength and security. With this wall it is the maker's skill that holds them together. I'll throw on a few cosmetic spells and it'll look this good in a thousand years. But it'll be standing even if I don't."

Ukyo leaned against the wall. "Wow. Say, what happens if..." she waved her hand vaguely. "You know. What happens if another wizard tries to knock it down? You know, cancel your spells or something."

Ranma took a seat on a log. "We are dealing with two very different kinds of effects. First, the one you're thinking of, is... well, let me give you an example." He reached into his suddenly-convenient (it typically lurked nearby against this sort of need) bag and removed a goblet and a loaf of homemade bread. He held the goblet in the air and left it there, where it stayed.

"This is the kind of effect you've been thinking of. There is a spell holding this cup in the air. I dispel it..." The cup fell and he caught it in his palm, then returned it to his bag. Then he held out the loaf of bread while it began to slice itself. When he had a few slices floating next to him he took hold of one and bit it, waving the shortened loaf at his audience.

"I've used magic to cut bread. The effect was magical, but it lasted only a short while. Magic changed something, but once changed it stays that way without any magical help. Here there is nothing to dispel." He waved a hand at the floating slices and they fell into his lap, but did not rejoin the loaf.

Kasumi sat at her husband's feet and smoothed her skirts, listening while she took his feet and rubbed them in her lap, having removed his boots to do so. He had to pause to stare at her in astonishment, but she met his eyes with a smile and bent back to her task, seeming quite pleased to do it.

Kasumi spoke softly. "Nabiki, would you get our husband's shoulders, please?"

Everybody looked on in wonderment at Kasumi's change. Nabiki stood for a minute before blinking. "Sure."

Ranma chalked it up as something to ask her later.

He met the looks of his wives, returning to his topic. "There are lots of things you can do either way. I typically do the latter when I can. It's a bit more effort, but if I conjure food and eat it, I'd rather not find myself on the brink of starvation, or dead, when next somebody casts a form of dispelling at me. It happens fairly often, people trying to take advantage of careless mages. It does not speak well of my profession that much of the time it works."

His eyes closed and he sighed as Nabiki got a neglected sore spot above his collarbone. He sat, sighing a moment, as a dreamy look crossed his face. Ukyo bent and swept up a rock, chipping at it idly with the corner of a throwing spatula as they waited for Ranma's mental faculties to come back online.

He sighed again and sat a little straighter, his toes giving out pleasure signals that caused him to adopt a far away half-lidded look to his eyes. "There is a third kind of effect. That of a continuing spell bound to a thing in such a way that it is impossible to casually remove. My curse would be a good example of that, a magic weapon would be another. In either case alot of energy went into making the magic self-sustaining, sometimes even more effort than the original spell required to cast."

Kasumi proved herself a good foot masseuse and his eyes involuntarily closed, but he did not stop his instruction. "You could compare these three effects to devices with which you're all familiar. In the first case a dispel would be unplugging an electric clock; fairly easy to do and stops it from telling time until replugged and reset, or recast in the case of a spell. The second is like a sundial, there is nothing to unplug. Unless you physically destroy it or do something to alter it, it keeps functioning because that is its natural state. The third kind would be well considered a watch with batteries and a solar cell. Some fairly intricate things are required to stop that watch from functioning without damaging it. Destroying it is *far* easier. But at least in my case I don't feel like being destroyed just so I won't turn into a girl any longer. Killing the patient is not a cure."

He lazily indicated their wall, fighting an inward urge to purr as the sisters bent to their ministrations. "Here I've used the second type of effect to build the wall, and added spells to it that are of the third kind. Defensive enchantments that make it hard to endanger us." His face acquired a glint that was hard to define. "Rience, the mage companion of Kisaby, was the first to invent them. The spells are unmatched in siege and have not been defeated since their creation. Though very few mages know of them, I am one of the few."

"Do spells like that ever wear out?"

Ranma leaned back as he considered Ukyo's question while the other girls regarded her strangely for her odd insight. "Yes and no, depends on the skill of the mage doing them. Some of the crudest magic items have spells that will last only a few years, better ones last for decades, and top of the line weapons that require special materials to create, can last for centuries or even millennia. In the case of elves, their weaving of spells is so tight they grow *stronger* with passing time. Ancient elvan weapons are something to fear, and they have more of them than most people think. Dwarven work is stable, it stays just about the same unless the craftsman was especially gifted or talented, or lacking in same. I haven't been a mage long enough to tell how my work bears up. The first thing I made was only five years ago, and that was this bag." He patted it fondly, then shrugged happily. "It's borne up well since. I can't see any sign of its enchantments fraying, and that's always a good sign."

Ranma spread out his arms and leaned against them, sighing deeply as Nabiki moved lower to work his back. "One bad thing is that Jusenkyo curses grow stronger over time. They're fairy magic, even if not elvan. That can actually be worse, but I've got a strong enough nullifier I think to handle it."

He held out a finger and seemed oddly shocked when nothing flew up to land on it. Freeing his mind of the pleasing sensations instilled by the sisters, he stood up to look around.

"What are you looking for, son-in-law?"

Ranma and all the girls looked up to see Cologne perched on the top of his outer wall. The old woman put away her pen and scroll, rolling it up to stow away in her sleeve before hopping down among them.

"Cologne?"

"What Great-Grandmother doing here?"

"Yeah, what's up? I thought you had a restaurant to open."

The old woman gave a wrinkly smile. "Ah, well, what's the point being an owner of your own business if you can't afford to take a day off once in a while?" Cologne chuckled. "Besides, I only wanted to offer what help I could to you adapting to this place. You've been very kind to our tribe since getting married, and it only seemed right to help an ally."

"What about the scroll?" Nabiki asked her.

An enigmatic grin. "Oh, that. Nothing to worry about, Nabiki dear. It's not often that our world sees an actual mage. I was on my way to see you and heard his little explanation, I was only taking notes to record what I'd overheard. I think I got it all, but would you mind terribly repeating that point about the cup and the bread? I was on the other side of the wall and didn't manage to see it."

He was just gathering breath when the temple on top of their hill exploded.

OoOoO

The Tendo doorbell rang.

When it had rung for the third time, Akane finally realized there were no older sisters to answer it and put aside the shovel she'd been using to try and clean some of the mess of broken boards and tilework out of their bathroom so she could take a bath, leaving it more of a mess than before she'd started as she went to answer the front door.

Mousse was there, wringing his hands together.

Akane frowned. ~Why did this pervert have to come here?~

Mousse saw her and bowed very low. "Forgive me, Akane. But I have come to... I have come... !"

Akane blinked, then scowled. At least Mousse was wearing his glasses. She leaned out toward him, still holding on the doorframe. "Are you trying to say that you'd rather *not* be engaged to me, is that it?"

Terrified, Mousse managed a nod.

"Well FINE!" Akane shouted. "I can't imagine how we ever got together in the first place!" She slammed the door on him to punctuate her words.

Soun and Genma appeared from where they'd hidden nearby and began to sob like their hearts would break, leaning on each other for support in their agony. As the sounds of cheering and celebrating increased in volume on the other side of the portal, Akane had a brief moment to wonder if she'd just made some sort of mistake.

Soun was blubbering. "But... he was such a *nice* boy, compared to all the others."

Genma sobbed. "Maybe... we should ask the Master if he would take us on another training trip, Tendo."

As the two 'adults' vanished to pack their bags, she passed from slightly confused to a state that added significantly to that earlier bit of doubt, especially as Mousse's cheering just increased in volume as he went on up the street.

Happosai appeared between Akane's breasts. "Oh! How could you boys even think about leaving Akane when she is in such a time of distress?" In the midst of groping her, he turned shining eyes up at her glowering face. "I know! We'll just have to engage *me* to you in that boy's stead!"

"DIE!"

Akane punted the pervert to the horizon.

OoOoO

Ryoga was having a bad day.

It was, as usual, all Ranma's fault of course, and he duly made note of that. It had all started back when that philanderer had made off with Akane's sisters. Various expletives floated around in Ryoga's head as he cursed the day Saotome abandoned his commitment to the girl (never mind that she had killed him and his mother had nixed the engagement. His new wife wouldn't stand for a murderess joining the fold and after the marriage Ranma had been supremely busy with being married. The fact that everything was Saotome's fault was a pillar of Ryoga's existence).

Yes, it was all Ranma's fault. Because without Ranma there, Ryoga had been forced into closer contact with Akane (read: he had tried to take over the vacant position of fiance, being *deliriously* happy to accept an engagement to Akane offered by her father) and then tragedy struck (read: without the efforts of Ranma there *protecting* Ryoga's secret ID as P-chan, that secret had inevitably been blown).

Akane had needed something to vent her fury upon. Ranma was gone and Ryoga was handy. The revelation gave her an excuse to blow up, and though she felt much better afterwards, Ryoga's life had been destroyed.

Ryoga was after revenge on a scale previously unheard of.

The minor insult of beating him in contests to see who got bread had driven the Lost Boy to the depths of what most would freely call obsession. The cursed springs had made him even more of a match for the clinical term called homicidal lunacy.

Now the Lost Boy was simply going to kill.

It mattered not that Ranma had nothing to do with it. It mattered not a trifle that the Saotome boy didn't even *know* about it. He was going to die. Rather than talk about or threaten it, Ryoga was simply going to kill him. He was that mad.

Though mad as in anger or a barking lunatic was a matter for some debate.

In a movie Ryoga had never seen, a short, green muppet once warned "Anger, fear, depression. The Dark Side are they." And while he only briefly touched on fear a little more then most because of the adventures he'd been exposed to, Ryoga had the other two mastered. He felt precious little else. If he'd been raised a Jedi he'd have gone to the Sith faster then Genma scooping up a fallen coin. The Emperor never would've *looked* at the kid called Skywalker.

He'd heard Ranma was touring Europe, which explained why Ryoga was now lost there and what he was looking for. Though killing a man while he's on his honeymoon was a choice made in decidedly poor taste.

His backpack encrusted with ice, the Lost Boy continued to trudge across the fjord in Scandinavia where he was presently lost as a pelican in a black bag being shipped through customs on Tatooine. Although some rather nice farms dotted the *tops* of the nearby cliffs, and some decent docks and shipping went on upstream. No one had trudged this area on foot in centuries. Tides, ice and the jagged rocks had a habit of killing visitors and there wasn't much glory in saying you'd walked the beach in Norway. Nothing like having conquered Everest, for example, though in this case the challenge was similar.

But right now the tide was out, he had an umbrella made out of better material than steel (though presently dented from having stopped a few killer icicles from falling through his thick head), and the beach was a bare path behind him, softly littered with gravel that had formerly been those aforementioned jagged rocks.

Spying a nearby cave and noting that night had fallen, Ryoga decided to make his camp. But first he blew away the rune-encrusted rock slabs guarding the entrance with a Breaking Point touch.

The icicle that fell on him from the shock of that blast made trash of his umbrella and got Ryoga angrier still, forcing him inside because just then it began to rain. Later the tide would close the entrance and he'd be forced to find another way out, or make one.

Ryoga was having a really terrible day.

OoOoO

Hikaru Gosunkugi was having the time of his life.

With still only scattered pages he had managed to piece together enough bits to make the Holy Grail of his existence possible. He was going to marry Akane. Right on the page before him was the complete recipe for an honest-to-goodness Love spell.

Oh sure, the instructions on *casting* it were cut off partway, on a page he didn't have. But the reagents were all spelled out in minute detail, as was the initial preparation.

It ought to work flawlessly.

Having assembled all of the necessary ingredients (raiding his mother's kitchen and herb garden, ransacking the attic, stealing several flowers from Mrs. Takuchi's garden, going to lengths to obtain certain rocks and raiding the school Chem Lab for materials and his new equipment), drawn the circle and crafted a wand, he was ready.

He even had the breath of a virgin handy! Though if his plans worked his own would soon cease to qualify. Gosunkugi locked himself in his basement and began to chant.

Several of the neighbors looked up on hearing the oddly pathetic diabolical laughter.

OoOoO

When their home exploded Ranma merely raised an eyebrow, the reactions of the others was a little more... unrestrained.

Nabiki jumped back, slammed her head against the wall, and abruptly took a nap. Kasumi realized she had jumped up into Ranma's arms and looked acutely embarrassed. Shampoo had stepped back, falling instinctively into a defensive stance. Beside her Ukyo held her big spatula in a blocking position. The two matching and supporting each other even before they realized it.

Cologne was waiting expressionlessly. She shared a look with Ranma and he gave a nod, whispered a word, and raised a hand, floating the whole group of them over the two story inner wall (twenty four feet high, exactly twice as tall as the first) and onto the sanctum of their inner plateau where a blonde with blackened face and hair was struggling out of the smoke holding something.

*Cough!* "Here Ranma, I completed your virility potion!" She exclaimed proudly, holding a vial out to him.

Ranma accepted the proffered drink and sniffed at it a bit, exclaiming professionally. "Needs more Thyme, and a bit of Rosemary. The Hagwort is definitely a problem, as it would lead to gradual sterility creeping up over time."

"Hey!" The blonde gaijin woman was obviously crushed. "It was only my second try!" Then she stopped and blinked prodigiously. "Honey, when did you learn magic?"

The group looked at their feet and noted they were hovering several inches above the grass. Feeling caught at what til recently wasn't at all peculiar to him, yet stood out clearly here, Ranma landed them. ~Second Try? It took the combined alchemists of three royal academies several years to complete a working formula and that was her SECOND TRY! Who is she?~

The blonde woman cocked her head curiously at them and their odd behavior.

"Astrild?" Ukyo ventured in a questioning tone, recognizing the lady from pictures.

Ranma went white as facts suddenly connected and hit home.

"Yes Darling?" Prompted Nabiki in the same tone that Ukyo had a moment before.

Ranma swallowed. "Astrild, she's the Norse goddess of love."

"That's both my name and job description, but you know that." The blonde agreed with him. "Ranma Darling, I thought you and the rest would be off for the whole day." Astrild looked over the group and her eyes widened. "None of you remember me? Shampoo, have you been playing with the shampoos again?"

Shampoo shook her head rapidly.

Astrild looked puzzled. "This doesn't make any sense." She assumed a cute pouting expression to think that had Ranma somehow deeply want to hold her. Ukyo gave him a shove and he held Astrild.

Cologne cleared her throat. "If you'll allow me to explain, these youngsters believe they have a different past than ours. It has all come as quite a shock to them."

Astrild formed a pouty frown. "I've got to check this out. Excuse me, please." She began to fade into sparkling lights inside of Ranma's arms. "Hang on, I need to make a phone call."

"Who you gonna call?" Ukyo couldn't resist.

"Heaven. I've got Heimdall's pager number, he ought to be able to fill me in on the details, just hang tight." The blonde goddess quickly disappeared, not bothering to use the paths as she just phased out in midair. Ranma dropped his arms as he found himself holding nothing. Nabiki quickly remedied that, filling that gap.

"She know Shampoo and Spa... Ukyo, and other brides?"

Ukyo tossed her sister-wife a tentative grin at the change to first name.

"She does seem to." Kasumi debated whether to climb out of Ranma's arms where she seemed to have accidentally displaced Nabiki. On the one hand maybe it was wrong, so perhaps she should. After all she had just been... on the other... but maybe... perhaps... But it wasn't like Ranma seemed to mind. Blushing, Kasumi looked down at her hand. "And she _did_ have a ring just like the rest of ours." She finished, deciding to stay where she was for the moment.

Sparkling lights began to solidify into the blonde woman they'd seen in the pictures. She was looking MAD and pointed a finger. "You. Ranma. Now." She turned with a swirling ponytail and headed back into their house, which was looking only partly ruined from the last explosion.

Judging the likely consequences either way, Ranma released Kasumi and hurried after the departing goddess. Looking over the remaining brides, Cologne announced. "I won't be long," and disappeared to follow.

The confused girls looked at each other.

OoOoO

No sooner did she have Ranma alone than Astrild threw herself on him and began to cry her eyes out.

"Uhm?" Ranma offered intelligently.

Astrild hauled him down to stare into his eyes. "I've just spent the best three months of my LIFE building all the love and affection between us I possibly could and you don't even REMEMBER any of it!" She wept in his face, then oozed against him and sobbed. "Heimie-chan said he'd sick Urd on chasing down your memory files, but it may take years."

The magical martial artist had a teary goddess in his face. "Can you understand how much that hurts?" She demanded.

Quietly Ranma assumed that it had to be a great deal, as he tried to figure out what one did for a crying wife you'd only just met, yet had gleefully spent her best energies with you for a quarter of a year - and to all accounts you owed your life to her.

Magic he knew, martial arts he knew. Women were another matter.

With quiet desperation, he held her to him as he'd seen villagers do when a dragon or something had ruined their village. It seemed to work okay.

OoOoO

Ukyo examined the now partially collapsed central hallway behind the temple's main visitor areas (now smoldering). Ranma was doing something with Astrild, and that promised to take considerable time if she knew Ranma-honey or that look on that girl's face (which was one FAR too familiar for her own liking), and everyone else wanted to see the rest of this place NOW.

While there was still some of it left.

Going in through the front doors was the auditorium/chapel, only partially wrecked by the explosion, then a few rooms for preparations (one of which was marked "Astrild's Lab- Do Not Touch- Trespassers Will Be Violated") and was locked (Nabiki had tried it.)

Then came a central hallway and the rooms. Duck placards on two of the doors here proclaimed Kasumi's and Nabiki's rooms. A metal spatula hung from a peg on a third door was engraved with Ukyo's own name. Shampoo's name was written in both katakana and her own dialect, the bronze placard framed with little enameled bonbori. One door had a heart-shaped placard on which a set of runes were placed, and Ukyo guessed that this was the room of that "Astrild" that Nabiki's diary had spoken of and where she was now alone with Ranma. Another door had a two dimensional placard of a delivery box and the name "Kaori" upon it.

Ranma's room bore a wooden silhouette of a rearing horse and his own name.

That left two doors that had yet to be explored on this side of the collapsed ceiling beams left from the earlier explosion. Nabiki moved past Ukyo to open the one at the far end of the remaining hallway, revealing steps leading down.

Nabiki led the group, her natural curiosity proving too much to contain. At the end of the stairs was a small room, which proved to have a number of towels.

Ukyo shot past Nabiki to examine what she hoped to find. She stopped at the doorway, causing the others to forcibly move her out of the way.

Nabiki whistled, long and low.

The ceiling was vaulted, with rows of windows set high above that let sunlight slant into the room. Cedar planks stretched out across the floor, small gaps providing drainage in the hot, humid atmosphere. Marble pillars stretched up, which combined with the vaulted ceiling to give the impression almost of a cathedral. A cathedral where plants had run amuck, because there were thick ferns in planters, vines running around the pillars to become lost in the squares of foliage bordered by the cedar walkways.

Water dripped, gathering on the ceiling from the humidity to splash against water or plank or greenery. The tiles of the "washing off" area were elaborate and looked vaguely Arabic to Nabiki's appraising eye.

It was the bath itself that gathered their attention more than anything else, even among the exotic flora and elaborate tiling, blue-veined marble, and the statues of people nobody immediately identified in the alcoves.

Steam swirled and slid along the surface of the bath. Shampoo wasn't the only one to realize that she was at the edge of the bath, looking in, and not remembering having walked there.

There was a bench for sitting down within the waters, the near end being a little under three feet deep. An examination of the *far* end revealed no bench, and the waters there were closer to six feet deep.

"Is this a bath or a heated pool?" Nabiki pondered aloud, interrupted a moment later by the sounds of Shampoo and Ukyo both getting themselves as clean as possible, racing to see who would be the first to try out this watery treasure.

Kasumi wandered past and called Nabiki's attention to the whirlpool, apparently a new addition with the motor area empty. Another of the "additions" that hadn't been quite finished yet. There were even several chairs sitting off to the side, apparently for resting after the serious effort of getting clean.

Two splashes indicated that a little pink furred cat and an okonomiyaki chef were nearly simultaneous in reaching the bath.

Ukyo sat back on the bench and nearly purred. "No more using a public bath-house. Ohhhh. Ranchan, I *love* you!"

Shampoo *was* purring, even though she'd changed back to being human the moment she'd hit the water.

Nabiki left the bath area, not having the strength or inclination to drag the two out of their warm bliss. There was still one door to consider.

With a confident stride, Nabiki walked up the stairs to the hallway, opened the second door and looked up the flight of stairs.

"Oh my," said Kasumi from her position behind her sister. "I thought this was only a one story building..."

"It is." Nabiki frowned. "Well, nowhere to go but up, I suppose."

They ventured thither.

OoOoO

Akane punched Happosai, kicked him, and threw him outside. But by the time she'd turned around to the burning ramen, he was back and fondling her, rubbing his face in the lower regions of her hips again.

Genma and Soun sat dejectedly in their places, smelling smoke and each getting out yet another container of instant ramen. Soun had a campfire going in moments. They'd had lots of recent practice. It helped they'd banked the coals from cooking breakfast.

Punting Happosai through an unrepaired hole in the roof yet again, Akane watched the ramen smoldering and turning to charcoal in the skillet and felt tears coming to her eyes. "Ranma..."

Her resolve hardened. She still had copies of his spellbook. There had to be a way to fix it so they were together again. That potion just had to be a fluke. They must have written the recipe wrong. Fending off the returned Happosai a third time, Akane thought of her upcoming marriage to Kuno.

Desperate times, Akane told herself as flames erupted from the frying pan, burning the scorched walls yet again, called for desperate measures.

The vial of old potion shoved in the pile with the other unwashed pans at the back of the stove began to rattle, then shake, and startled Akane so much she threw an open pail of oil into the fire. The explosion rocked the walls of their house and killed the unique bacterial culture that had been growing in the cooling remains of her last attempt at meatloaf (also shoved to the back burner) that would have caused cerebral hemorrhaging and death in half of the adult men of the planet and sterility in all the rest. So this explosion was not at all a bad thing.

Out of the cooling potion pot a pair of hairy arms extricated themselves, then pulled out the ridiculously small body of a chibi-King Kong wearing a sailor hat and sunglasses. The arms were out of proportion and reached six feet long for a body barely one.

"Hehehehe, I... waitaminute." The creature goggled at itself. "I should be covered in flames! And... what about my... but the horns! And..." The deformed ape demon sputtered while its summoner was still coughing the smoke out of her lungs. It concluded. "When you show up to conclude another demon's Fell Contract you are NOT SUPPOSED TO LOOK LIKE YOU BELONG IN A CHILD'S FAIRY TALE!"

Akane's gaze was unimpressed and unfriendly. She snorted. "So you want to be covered in flames?" Seeing the demon nod, she tilted him into her cooking fire.

Soun and Genma looked up as a flaming deformed ape ran shrieking out of the kitchen with a gooey pot on it's head, Akane chasing to throw pans and obscenities after it.

They retired to eat their ramen on the roof.


	4. Chaos And Schenanigans

Astrild's Restaurant

The Sapphire Bet, Chapter Four  
The First Assault

Formerly: A Bet Too Much, Blue Side.

by  
Jared Ornstead  
aka Skysaber

OoOoO

I liked Dogbertcarroll's latest 'Storybook Hero' Fragment so much I offered him anything if he'd continue it.

This chapter is the result of our bargain.

OoOoO

Nabiki and Kasumi arrived at the top of the stairs, somewhat discomforted by the fact that about halfway up they had gradually turned from fairly ordinary stone steps not unusual for a shrine to glass and gold (or was that crystal?) with fluted arches overhung with growing vines and fed by sourceless sunlight and fountains whose mechanisms they could not see.

They came to a landing blocked off by a pearly gate hung on gold hinges and when the steps ended Nabiki couldn't entirely be sure the mists they had gradually been walking in hadn't turned into a solid cloud.

The gate turned out to be locked and both sisters hurried on their ways down the strange steps, feeling a bit humbled from a brush with something beyond the mortal.

OoOoO

Ukyo oozed in the bath, stretching and soaking and wishing for only one thing to complete the utter happiness of her life in that moment. Ranchan wasn't there, though, so she got to talking with Shampoo.

"How do you figure that Ranchan got caught up so much with your tribe, anyway?"

Shampoo floated in a sea of purple hair spread out and encompassing her like ivy. "Is no secret. Shampoo is great-grandmother heir. Great-grandmother is matriarch to tribe and once husband known to have accepted marriage he very, very important male. Not hurt status he turn into girl at need, either."

"So how did the furniture and things get here then?" Ukyo lazily stretched forth a leg, wondering at the temperature of the perfect soak combined with nary a barrier as far as her limbs could reach, unless she deliberately put her back to a wall, that is.

"Have to happen that tribe involved deliberately by new wife. She not care to have rivals for power over husband and so make peace by having tribe acknowledge her as first. Hard to do not hurt Shampoo position, but from way things seem nice-nice she found way. Not give marriage bed save as highest amazon honor. No give to dishonored heir."

The house shook, interrupting their conversation a bit with its rumbling.

Ukyo stood, wading across and grabbing for towels. "C'mon sugar. Something tells me a long soak's not on the agenda. Ranchan's probably up to something and I want to see what's going on."

"Is good idea. Will return with husband later!"

Ukyo's cheeks went rosy pink. That's just what she'd thought too!

OoOoO

From out of a seemingly clear blue sky Pantyhose Taro came down upon the damaged shrine roof, smashing it with one hoof while chasing down the much smaller fleeing form of Happosai, who responded with several paper bombs - some that immediately exploded, others with time delays so as to provide continual clouds of smoke and cover to shield the little man's retreat. The immediate detonations ripped apart what was left of the roof after Pantyhose's initial attack, before the battle moved on, both combatants repositioning off the property, not even noting where the unexploded bombs fell.

Since many of the time-delayed bombs had fallen through cracks to lodge inside of the building, when the fallen explosives went off, the house, predictably, got destroyed.

OoOoO

From the smoldering wreckage of what used to be a house, that was once a much confused shrine, Ranma emerged wearing a puzzled yet oddly pleased expression and mumbling under his breath about how he could get used to this.

He also had his shirt on backwards but was a bit too discombobulated to notice.

An oddly strained smile splitting his face nearly in two, the mage noted the ongoing martial arts battle that had destroyed his new home had moved on to the roof of their restaurant, which thanks to its sturdy, Amazon construction, weathered the brief exposure to violence just fine, before the battle moved on yet again, to a different part of town.

Most magical wards were designed to stave off magical assault. They couldn't even slow down high-powered martial artists, as he well knew. And the protections he'd laid down were still only of the most basic nature.

Strangely too happy to care about the recent destruction, the young mage simply went to work on the repairs he would need to put his house back fully into working order.

Although, with a few renovations included.

Sturdy went without question. It was what he built anyway, even going to extremes at times. As for the shrine motif; it didn't have one. That actually encouraged him because it meant he didn't have to preserve anything, so it didn't conflict with any of his current plans.

That was a good thing, as he'd been making those plans for years.

Sets of blueprints appeared in the air before the mage, products of a study he'd made of several palaces he'd seen during his adventures. These included sweeping staircases, grand ballrooms, and other frivolity made for the sole purpose of impressing other nobles, although they did look nice. However, while nobles knew how to build grand, they did not also at the same time build practical, so he'd refined those with practical tips he'd picked up in villages, from housewives and handymen, engineers and common laborers.

In fact, he'd made a particular practice out of quizzing the servants and staffs of those very palaces whose designs he had studied, gathering information about what, in the servants' eyes, could have been done to make those buildings better.

It went without saying that he'd also consulted with dwarves on this issue. One simply didn't build things without consulting with dwarves. It was unnatural.

Elves also made for great interior designers for aesthetic appeal.

Then Ranma had gone one step further, and done something only an archmage of his caliber *could* do, and made grand scale, full life-size, semi-real illusions of what the final products of these plans would be, and had those same nobles and servants and dwarves walk through them, adding commentary and refinement to his designs. In effect testing them out for flaws before any final commitment was made in actual stone.

He'd even tricked several different varieties of dangerous monsters into attacking his semi-real illusionary castles, to test out where the defenses might be weak.

Ranma pitied those mages who didn't study architecture.

Once approved by those nobles for grandeur (many of whom had then gone on to add refinements to their own homes based on his designs), elves for aesthetics, dwarves for defensibility and sturdiness of construction, servants for practicality and himself for all of the magical concerns and issues of an archmage's abode, he'd then gone on to make several different scales of these plans.

After all, while a mage of impressive level could never truly have enough space to spread out in for his libraries and workshops and so on, there are certain limits of what is allowable on other people's property. So he had small, cottage-scale dwellings that managed to fit a great deal more space inside than it seemed, guest cottages without the added space, all of the way up to a grand castle that was both a magical skyscraper as well as a palace and incorporated all of his other house designs as elements of one master plan.

Seeing as how he'd never planned on having more than one wife, the extra space of his largest plan appeared to be called for. Besides, having gotten married to a literal goddess, only his best would do.

He selected the grand castle design for his replacement shrine.

Once more turning the first spadeful of dirt himself, opening his bag and calling out to his tools, he commanded, "Gloves, Trowel, Chisel, Shovel, please construct this little hovel."

An amusing little rhyme, as most shopping malls had less internal space than this castle, and it was also a literal palace. They'd be days constructing something this size, despite blurring into action. Once more he had to tell the trowel he preferred white blocks, and once more he set the first stone himself. It really was not hard, and the mystical connection was important, as it gave him that much more oomph when he went about enchanting the place.

So with that he set to spinning several symbol bearing circles in the air before him, blew a long breath out through the hole their pattern created, and began to reweave the little hill their shrine had stood on. His tools would be forced to reconstruct the wall after he did this, as the magic barricade would not last through the scale of expansion he intended. But the scope of this design called for a certain amount of space, and he would have it.

Ranma merely had to reverse an Elemental Transference spell to pull in enough material from the plane of elemental earth to make room, because the Grand Castle design called for one mile diameter between the inside of the outermost walls.

Warping the space around the place he was expanding so it could accommodate it without shattering houses or roads or the like was the job of the rest of the spells he was casting.

Of course, doing anything on this scale broke all the rules of good manners, far too fortified for placing in someone else's domain. So he simply had to hide it, that's all. A few Distance Distortion spells and the right illusions and from the outside no one would even know it was there. Besides, if that demon attack from earlier was anything to go by, whatever mage considered this territory home hadn't responded politely to Ranma's attempts to be a good neighbor. So it was time to fortify against direct assault.

And fortify heavily, given the nature of the last attack. Summoning high-level demons and making them immune to hostile magic before launching a surprise attack did not telegraph good intentions.

Tall, elegant stone spires grew out of the ground, vaguely reminiscent of Greek columns and birch trees, both at the same time. And, like trees, they began to morph, sending out elegant stone branches that would be the supports for their new ceiling, a theme that would be repeated inside and out, especially in the gardens.

An elvan druid had taken him to task for weeks over his garden plans, before settling down and simply designing it herself. And her plans called for an arbor. Several, actually.

Ukyo and Shampoo emerged at the same time as Nabiki and her sister came out from another exit, all four of them converging on Ranma's position as soon as they'd spotted him. "Is the expansion really necessary?" Nabiki asked, watching the inner side of their little compound walls fade into the distance.

The mage smacked his lips thoughtfully. "It only just occurred to me, Nabiki, that the shrine gave us barely enough quarters as we are now."

"What husband mean?" Shampoo wasn't really thinking, just watching columns rise while new walls grew outward in sinuous splendor.

"What I mean is that the group of us have rooms, but we are hardly going to be staying just us, now are we? There are going to be joyful little packages arriving, and it would be nice to have the space to put them." He tactfully stated.

Every girl there went completely quiet, with a slight blush and contemplative smile. Ukyo was not alone in giving their shared husband a speculative look.

"So Ranchan, you don't have to say why, because I think they're pretty. But why are you doing so many buttresses and columns?"

"I just don't like the look of a ceiling that isn't prepared to keep boulders from raining down on my head, Ucchan." Ranma confessed, stretching forth his hands and flexing his fingers differently to guide the support posts into the patterns imagined.

"Um..." Was the usual consensus. That wasn't a need they *typically* saw ceilings rated for. Usually people asked if they were swept clean of cobwebs.

"Who throw rocks at husband?" Shampoo was the sole member of their group to figure out his reason.

Ranma shrugged. "Oh, just about anybody. It's a typical way of waging war, really. In this world they use exploding shells, but the principle is the same. After living though a few sieges, let me tell you I don't like to think about rocks raining down if I've not got something above to deflect them." He blinked at the girls. "Well, you've seen those lovely braced and fluted arches in old pictures of European castles, haven't you? That architecture didn't come about because some designer said 'let's build something that looks funky.' It was a natural result of wanting to keep the ceiling overhead where it belongs when some enemy or other is raining down half ton stones upon it. Later they improved on the designs to make them prettier, but the overall function is the same."

He touched a finger to the side of his head in thought. "Which makes me wonder, as I can't ever recall seeing any examples of Asian architecture that could survive a prolonged barrage of catapult stones. It leads me to suspect they never did develop siege weapons to the same extent here. But then, as I recall, the focus here was always more on personal combat and individual heroics than properly developed armies."

"You sound like a professional soldier, Ranchan. " Ukyo joked.

"I've won a war or two." Was all he would say, though he shrugged to make light of it. Then he clapped his hands together vigorously. "Okay, now let's turn out a place I could store my greatest treasures in." He caught up a double armload of girls, shining confidence down on them. "As well as something pretty enough not to detract from their own beauty."

"Aww! So sweet!" Astrild emerged from the partially reconstructed house to say, batting her eyes girlishly at the group of them and clasping her hands adoringly at the picture thus displayed. "Ranma, you really aren't all that different, are you?"

He paused, unsure how to respond to that, setting the blushing girls down.

"Well, *I* like him!" Ukyo blushed, happy and invigorated.

"Shampoo like too."

Nabiki smirked. "Well, our dear husband has his strengths." She began ticking points off on her fingers. "Let's see, he's strong, handsome, good in a fight. Apparently he makes a ton of money and to judge by my sister's reaction I'd say my hunch proved true that's he's matured alot."

She turned to her dearest. "Right, Ranma darling?... Ranma?"

"Mmph!"

"Kasumi!" All three other girls shouted simultaneously.

Kasumi leaned back from where she'd been lying across and necking Ranma. "Yes?" Seeing their angry faces she amended. "Okay ladies, I think that's been taken care of. Now, on to the most important question. Who's on first?"

"Second. I was first." Astrild glowed, earning her a look of both disbelief and envy from the rest of them. She departed, waving a hand merrily as she left them some privacy. "I'll leave it to you girls to figure out the rest. Don't be too long about it, husband. But don't disappoint them either!"

OoOoO

The sunset was gorgeous, the most fascinating array of purples, blues, oranges and pinks. The slight of clouds only augmented the peaceful serenity of the scene that could have inspired monks of devout nature into poetic wanderings that could have changed a nation.

Pity Akane was too busy screaming to pay any attention.

"HOW COULD YOU!" She bellowed at the top of her lungs into the face of her father, sending all his long hair streaming straight back from the force of the wind thus generated.

"But, Akane..." he mumbled, as confused as if a pet rock had just bitten him. "My friend Genma and I thought it for the best." He apologized.

"THAT FURRY FREAK NEVER HAD A THOUGHT IN HIS LIFE!" Akane made what was perhaps the most accurate statement of her mortal existence at the top of her lungs, pushing her father's ill-worn gi to the limits of its old fibers as it strained to stay intact in spite of the wind of her shouting.

"But Akane," Genma interceded, never afraid of anything that hadn't already registered as able to place him in mortal peril. "You have to understand. The nature of the schools..."

"YOU NEVER CARED FOR ANYTHING BUT YOUR OWN FAT, STUPID HIDE!" Akane shrieked, on an amazing roll as far as the truth of her statements was concerned. What was regrettable was that she didn't mean any of it, it was just her anger seeking for any excuse at hand, and she would forget this remarkable discovery about the nature of her father's houseguest the moment the rush of air left her lungs.

Bits and tufts of panda fur spread out in swirling patterns across the Tendo back lawn from the force of her gust, which prompted Genma in panda form to hold up a sign. [Say it without the spit next time, girl!]

"Akane." The Tendo patriarch pled, groveling before her feet while tugging the hem of her skirt. "You don't have to be this way. Please, just accept what we've done as best for you. If you go along..." he wept, wanting to say **so** much about how they could afford to repair the house, cleanse the place, buy a new kitchen, rebuild the dojo, and even hire a cook! But it was all in vain, he was completely subject to his whims, and his daughter could not be ordered about whenever she got it in her mind to bully him.

"NO! I WON'T! AND THAT'S FINAL!" Akane stormed out of the parlor and up to her room, leaving both fathers with the hurricane-force words having blown them out the patio and rolling in the yard.

Nobody paid any notice to the thick, billowing clouds of smoke coming out of the kitchen windows. It was a normal enough occurrence since Akane took over cooking, anyway.

A shrill shriek lit up the air as Akane discovered a deformed ape demon had been waiting in her room, hoping to receive instructions from its summoner.

OoOoO

Ryoga checked about the chamber, having taken forever to get a fire going and torch lit. Normally he would've just relied upon his chi to glow and give him that nice green light of depression, but something in this chamber sat upon chi emissions like a sumo pig on a delicate pastry.

It was slightly disconcerting to Ryoga. His chi had made him powerful, even more than his muscles ever did. It was chi that focused and fueled his every attack. To have that out of reach to him presently was as much a warning of caution as the storm now raging out the entrance to this cave, increasingly covered in a rising tide.

Raising a torch above his head, the Lost Boy could discern runes upon the walls. Strange to most but familiar to him. They were Celtic in origin, but the pig boy mistakenly believed they were from Cincinnati. "So," he mused. "I'm somewhere in the Congo. Lucky it's not anywhere near Cleveland."

OoOoO

After a break for marital reasons (during which several girls tried hard to imagine what Astrild had been mixing up virility potions for - there wasn't any need THEY could see!) the newest mage of Tokyo got back to rebuilding and fine tuning their home and fortress.

Elves liked the slopes and curves of living in a forest, and their architecture evoked that feeling. It was way too costly a way to build for most humans, and dwarves preferred a different style altogether, but Ranma liked that style and, unlike most men, had the magic to make it happen.

So, after meeting and greeting his wives *as* wives for the very first time, relative to their new perceptions, and all of the kissing and fondling and other things that entailed, the small but deliriously happy family all met in the gigantic tub for a soak, and Ranma, from there, worked his spells to complete the rebuilding and remodeling of their shrine home.

Tendrils of magic spread forth and transformed the place even as they bathed.

OoOoO

Cologne lurked in the kitchen.

Very simply, that first wife of Ranma's was preparing potions that the amazon tribes had NEVER figured out (or they wouldn't be quite so small). Ranma might know a recipe, he'd said so, but then again having practiced magic on another world his formula might still require ingredients you could not obtain on this one. She was certain this goddess, however, WAS using the local available herbs and things, so was determined to get her recipe.

Unfortunately, the matriarch couldn't find anything close to a tome or book of spells in the kitchen, and with the house beginning to mutate around her, didn't dare try searching in another area where she might get lost - and with the very walls undulating into new shapes could never be certain that she was performing anything like a thorough search anyway.

So the elder found herself standing alone in son-in-law's kitchen next to a bubbling pot of pink brew. It HAD to be magical. No way the elder could mistake it for that mostly-complete virility potion, but then her tribe didn't rise to greatness by being fussy about turning down opportunities to learn great secrets.

Anything magical qualified as a great secret, and the tribes had so much of it only because of brave Amazons taking advantage of every opportunity to learn some. Doing things like taking notes on Ranma's lectures was only standard tribal procedure. You did that any time a mage paused to explain some magic, as that stuff was useful.

Cologne was accomplished enough a cook to judge ingredients by taste and smell the same as Ranma had done. With a rough idea of the makeup of this brew she could likely ask charming and innocuous questions to learn most of the rest. Enough partial secrets like these had been linked together over the years to be of great value to the tribe. Several of their most devastating martial techniques had similar origins to this. Tales were still sung of those amazons' bravery, who had dared to do among hostile warriors as she was now considering with a potion.

As matriarch of her tribe, Cologne didn't have much to be unsatisfied about as far as pride in her accomplishments went. But still the lure of songs sung commemorating her was a pull too cherished to resist. She lifted the ladle and took a sip.

OoOoO

The new palace was still taking shape when there came a knock at the door of their partially-completed castle, which Ranma answered to see a stuffy older gentleman in a drab business suit. The man immediately demanded. "Are you the owner of this property?"

Ranma nodded his head. "Yes, I believe I am. What can I do for you?"

The man produced an envelope and pushed it toward him. "You can remove that wall. There's been no building permit filed for this unauthorized construction. I ought to know, I'm on the planning commission and a building inspector..."

Ranma's eyed blazed with blue-white light, becoming miniature suns affixing the man. When he spoke it had an odd reverb effect. "There has been an error. All the requisite paperwork has been filed. You found evidence here worthy of all acceptation. Perhaps you should return to your records and correct their mistake."

The stuffy little official returned the envelope to his coat pocket hypnotically. "Yes."

Ranma nodded, gratified. "You could even be so kind as to retroactively file all of the paperwork that might have gotten lost."

The man nodded again. "Yes."

Smugly, Ranma retreated a little back behind his door, eying the little man critically. "Smoking and cheap wine are bad for you. You should give them up. And be a better father to your children. Goodbye." He closed the door.

The bureaucrat turned dazedly and began to wend his way out of the gates, his features becoming more normal as he went. By the first gate he was cursing the glitch in the paperwork that had caused this fool's errand. By the time he'd reached the second he was wondering what his wife's response would be if he came home today instead of going out with his buddies. For some reason he didn't feel like hanging out with them tonight. That cheap sake was making him sick.

But first he had some work at the office. There were all those misfiled forms he'd have to resubmit before going home today. He didn't want anyone else falling across this error and wasting their time. As he passed a public garbage receptacle he threw in his pack of cigarettes.

Nabiki met Ranma as he closed and turned away from the door. She caught the fiery light dying from his eyes. "What was all that about?"

He grinned down at her, appreciating the beauty of her in a kimono. "A cheap and small man who just had a miraculous change of heart, that's all. He'll smooth over a few bureaucratic tangles for us."

"Oh! How nice of him." Nabiki totally missed the point, appreciating instead the help. "Maybe Kasumi could help me make cookies for him or something. Anyone who takes on Japan's bureaucracy for our sake deserves thanks."

Ranma put an arm around her waist and led her back into their castle. He still had a palace to finish, and it wasn't going to do all of the work itself.

Although he was going to put up the new set of perimeter wards first.

OoOoO

By the time Happosai returned from his latest outing, having been delayed by running into Pantyhose, he saw the entire Tendo compound already engulfed in flames.

"Hmm, started in the kitchen, probably," the old man mused as he settled on a wall and took out his pipe, watching Akane chase some deformed ape around, so focused on her anger that she did not even appear to be aware that her home was on fire, while those two useless students of his were just bawling away, not doing anything to help.

"Well, it's a small loss. I've been expecting this for a while now," the pervert took out a policy for fire insurance and smiled at all of those lovely round zeros. "After all, a prime tenet of Anything Goes is to profit on another's loss."

The founder of Anything Goes was then left to gape in shock and confusion as the contract paper got snatched out of his hands.

"Thank you, Master," Soun, who'd snatched the contract, bowed deeply. "Your foresight and generosity will be most appreciated."

"Hmm, I don't see your collection listed under 'assets'," Genma, who'd snatched the paper next, mused as he read over the thing while Soun flexed his now-empty hands in shock.

"AHHHH!" Happosai jolted, freaking out. "My Collection! My silky darlings!"

Genma laughed uproariously as the master leapt off to save what he could of the vast stash and piles of girls underwear he'd hidden in his room, and probably other treasures secreted in floorboards and hidden cubbyholes about the house.

Only then did Ranma's father note he wasn't holding the paper anymore.

The passing ape had snatched it as it dashed pell-mell away from his summoner, hoping desperately to find it was the written version of the soul contract it had been called to complete. But no, it was useless human garbage.

He tossed it in the face of his pursuer, causing her latest strike with her hammer to miss, coming down instead on a semi-intact floor joist, which sprang clear of the rest of the broken and burning floor to catapult the stove from the kitchen, striking Happosai direct in the face.

Time seemed to hold still for a moment.

As it resumed, Happosai hung in the air, the stove falling away before he did, revealing a large iron pot covering his head. Also the contract wafted on the breeze towards the fire, and both Soun and Genma lunged for it, only to get batted aside by the cartoon monkey as it renewed its sprint to get away from Akane.

Happosai came down, a pot still over his head, dripping with what would have been a familiar substance to a certain deformed demon rushing about the yard trying hard not to get killed.

To everyone's horror, he was LICKING it!

"Akane! Where did you get this?" The old man's voice demanded even as his tongue swept every last scrap and particle of the ooze from out of the pot on his head. "You can't have made it yourself. It's delicious!"

Akane paused to glare murderously at the old man.

Soun and Genma both took this moment to panic and raced off for the horizon, in different directions so no pursuit could catch them both.

Now catching the fleeing deformed demon effortlessly in one hand, Akane squeezed until the monster popped and dissolved into greasy ooze dripping from her fist, without the girl even noticing she'd done so.

"DIIIIIIEEEEEEE!" She smashed the old pervert flat with her ooze-encrusted hand.

Smiling smugly over the weakly twitching man whose head she'd just embedded into the ground, Akane got struck in the face by a fluttering piece of paper. Idly, she wadded it up without looking and tossed it back over her shoulder into the blazing wreckage of her home, where the fire insurance policy promptly got consumed in the blaze.

She began to have doubts over her victory when the pit formed by Happosai's head still in its pot began to emit a weird green glow along with the smell of brimstone.

OoOoO

Ryoga entered what he hoped was the final passage, holding a torch high, wary of another trap, like the last time he'd tripped a pressure plate in the floor and released a set of chariot wheels with an axle between them studded with swords and axes.

That had been on a thirty degree slope, with a good dozen yards to accelerate before it hit him. Since the object had stretched from wall to wall, and somehow the Breaking Point did not work in these tunnels, the Lost Boy had taken quite a beating. He bore bandages over at least a dozen gashes.

When he'd first entered a darkened cave on an icy shore in Norway he'd been thinking of nothing more than a brief bit of comfort for the night. A dry place to sleep, in other words. Instead he'd found a tomb complex filled with traps and magic guardians.

The pit traps would have been a joke, it they hadn't all been studded with spikes at the bottoms. The last shaft Ryoga had fallen into had been eighty feet deep and filled with some sort of water monster that attacked the moment he'd fallen on those blades.

Defeating some sort of living water creature after being gashed by three foot spikes, not to mention that he'd also been turned into a pig by the first attack, had not been any kind of pleasant. The Lost Boy was also discovering that, without the ability to use the Breaking Point, he didn't care for being underground much. It had taken him forever to climb out of that pit, and then he'd had to contest with thirty ton slabs of rock having slid down to cover the corridor out!

It was all Ranma's fault, of course.

Vowing revenge kept the Lost Boy moving through these death trapped tunnels.

OoOoO

Gosunkugi could hardly believe his horribly sunken, unhealthy looking eyes.

Since getting those copies of spellbook pages, first a love spell had failed miserably, leading to despair until he'd noticed a potion for detecting magic. That had gone off correctly, exactly as advertised, and revealed the voodoo-enthusiast's whole family had been under a curse that no spell they cast would go correctly.

Mixing a potion had neatly sidestepped that. Then brewing a Nimodes' Nifty Nullifier had at last put an end to that family curse, freeing up his spellcasting ability forever.

After a lifetime obsession with the occult, Gosunkugi was finally a mage!

And, as final proof of that statement, a genie stood before him, hovering in the air above a flawless summoning diagram, saying, "What is your first wish, my master?"

"Make me more powerful than Ranma!" The vindictive and pathetic teen shouted.


End file.
